Transcribed by: Hawa Kante

Zoe: Hey everyone, my name is Zoe. I'm the CEO and founder of necessary behavior. And welcome back to another episode of squirt or sex and sexuality podcasts.

London:Hi, everyone. I'm London.

Bethany:  Hi, I'm Bethany. So today we are talking about sex myths, just like ones that give us a chuckle on ones that really need to be debunked. So the first Sexsmith I wanted to address was actually one that I thought was a little controversial, but not really controversial. So there's this myth that sex is good exercise, and I guess it's not. And in the study, it was like six actually only burns 87 to 150 calories. So that's not good exercise. But I thought that was lame, because you know what that's like, as much as you burn if you run a mile. I'm like, and what would I rather do?  For 150 calories?.

Zoe:That surprises me. But also I remember reading this stat, something like that, where it's like sex is good exercise. If you're having sex for an hour at brands, like X amount of calories. And I just thought that was really weird because I'm like, you gotta have a fucker that can last.

Bethany: In like, rigorous to like, rigorous for the whole hour. It makes me tired.

London:We heard of that before. They're always like, Yeah, six burns calories, for instance, meaning calories. First of all, in our second of all, it's a I felt like it will also depend on what you're doing. Because if someone's just laying there the whole time, then what are they really doing? You? You might get a good stretch in burning calories.Humm no.

Zoe: I yeah, I agree with the stretching thing. Have you seen the Tick Tock trend of people putting their partners in the positions that they put them in? No, like calling it yoga. It's so good. It's so good. Like these people that are like I put my boyfriend in all the positions that he puts me in, and they like, don't get it until it's like, you know, the final positions that they like in the weirdest ones like bent over the couch, like one leg up. And because you Yeah, I don't know. Like, I'm someone I'm like, I'm not that flexible. And I'm like, I think my ankle is touching my head right now.

London: oh, you're like, I'm not that flexible, and then it happens the next day. You're super sore, and you're like, what was I doing? Girl? You were stretched in like 16 different ways. That's why you're sore.

Bethany:I think I think when you're having sex, the porn star part of your brain just takes over and you're suddenly capable of liking new things. 

Zoe: Sometimes.

London:Sometimes my friend was like, the other day she was like, Are you like we were talking about like sex and stuff. And she was like, Are you going to stretch first? And I was like, No, I'm not going to stretch my body's going to do what it does.

Bethany:Like I better be thinking this is like an hour's long occasion with like breaks. Like if I'm stretching first like it's got to be for like a marathon. I'm not stretching for a friggin sprint.

London:For like two minutes of your time. Like what am I stretching like a two pump chump?

Zoe:Literally, it's like, what are we gonna do? Dude, I didn't even get anything now. I just have you're not on my back. It's more of an exercise to like get the come out of the blankets than it is you know?

Bethany: Okay, so here's one about comm So apparently there's this myth that men can run out of semen at some point. Like they have a limited amount available to them. Yeah, I'm anti masturbation like they like to make your kids like not to do that. But like, oh, no, you have like a limited amount like you can't you can't use it all up.

Zoe: Yeah, I wonder about that. Because it's like I know that bodies can just continually create sperm for like the rest of their lives. But like, I don't know, like people with ovaries. I mean, you get a set amount of eggs, but you don't even use them in your lifetime. I yeah, I always thought that was really interesting.

Bethany: That one kind of felt like it went hand in hand with masturbation causing blindness and sweaty palms, like masturbation causing infertility was like a really popular myth that kept coming up. Like no, and all them were like, Nope, it's got nothing to do with your fertility. Like in some cases, studies were like, maybe it makes it better. Like no worries, guys, you can still have babies and rub one out.

London: It sounds scary like, we're trying to scare you into not ever touching yourself. So you just save yourself shit. Like, that's crazy. But that's so many times. And that's really crazy that it's not true. It's not crazy. That is not true. It's crazy that people say it so much.

Bethany:Another myth that I personally heard all the time was when I was pregnant. They're like, Oh, you're carrying high so it must be a girl. Oh, you're carrying high so it must be a boy. And I'm just like, You people really know everything here. Are you just coming at me? Like some stranger telling me shit?

Zoe: I was gonna say, I know. I've heard that one before. I've also heard the saying, your boobs are bigger. You're carrying this gender, your butt's bigger, or whatever, like your butts more perky. It's very specific body parts that I feel like people comment on when you're pregnant. People love that people are just like you're having this gender because I said so. Because I just looked at your body and I know.

Bethany: Well, and then it's 50,50. So if they're right, they totally feel validated. But if they're wrong, it just gets like oh, we're gonna forget that. And the other one is that you can control what gender you have by like what sex position you do it in. There's articles on like, what sex positions to do it in to have a Boy.

Zoe:But anyways more shade on that later. I think of countries like China with their one child policy and like just the desire to have a boy and like people will go to such extreme lengths to have a boy. 

Bethany: Oh yeah it’s crazy, It's like they I think they upped it recently you can have to have one of them's a girl. But even then, like if you have a second girl like what do you what are you doing? 

Zoe: You might have to fact check me on this one. But I'm pretty sure that people were literally like dumping their babies. Like if they had a girl. 

Bethany:  That might be like an American Miss Thing, but that is definitely what I was being told too.

London: Yeah, I heard they were like dumping. I'm killing them. Like…

Bethany: Oh my gosh, you want to hear this new crazy thing I heard about. So I don't even remember what community it is. So this is really half baked information. Sorry. But there's this community that feeds little girls like 9000 calories a day to try and fatten them up to like their husbands and there's like it even has like a little name and they like force feed them like like little girls like little like nine year old eight year old girls in the video, like trying to like swallow choke down like 3000 Calorie breakfasts and stuff. And then they get hit with sticks if they don't keep meeting those craziest new things I learned on the internet recently.

Zoe: Yeah, that's crazy. That's a little bit too much. I knew. You know!

Bethany: Okay, hold on. Let me google it. I know. I told us that I came in here half the day.

London: That's interesting. I wonder if that's any different than starving yourself? For that same reason? I guess. They're both horrible, honestly. But eight year olds?

Bethany:  Yeah, they were like super little. Okay, so I found it. So it was the bar or the bar for tribes in the March and Mara tinea red region in the Sahara Desert, area ish. I guess to them, obese women are considered beautiful. That's just what it is. And so they just like, force feed their children like cattle to sell them off to husbands. 

Zoe:I don't even know what to think about that. I just like, first of all, I think the whole child bride thing is, I don't ever know. I literally wonder why we are doing that now? Would we have a greater life expectancy like you?

London:I have been still, like many other cultures.

Bethany:America, like in 2019, the youngest bride was like 10. There's a lot of ways you can be a child bride in the United States. And it's legal, because we like to pretend it's just for the other countries, but we do it too.

London: That's true, we just ignore it and pretend it doesn't happen. Like everything else we don't like, that's just a third world problem.

Bethany: Obviously, we'd never do that here in America.

London: I always feel lonely stuff like that is a problem because it's like, yeah, it's not good. But who am I to judge someone else's culture? I guess, like, weird. Like, I don't know.

Bethany: I judge because those little girls are still, those little girls still don't want to be there. Maybe when they're adults. So like, they have talked themselves into it. But I guarantee you, none of those little girls are like, oh, yeah, it's my dream to be fed like a cow and then sold off to the highest bidder.

Zoe: Yeah, no, I feel that I feel that. Well, they think that's it's so it's so difficult because then it's like, you know, good practices can you criticize without inflicting harm? You know, I feel like that's a practice I would probably criticize just because I'm like, oh, like, I don't know.

Bethany: I feel like  it was like the young adults who were like, hey, I want to be super obese for my husband. That'd be one thing. But it's like they've taken away the choice. It wasn't like a little girl was like, Oh, yes, I'd love to be fat for my husband someday. Like I said, they were like hitting them with sticks to force them to continue to eat. And it's like a different culture. And just like the fact that they're treating these little girls more like livestock than like human beings. Yeah. That's gross.

Zoe:Anyways we are lost. 

Bethany: Okay, you guys want a high note? Because that was a little depressing. Question. What do you guys think of sex on the first date?

London: As long as it's consensual? Anything? Anything goes? In my opinion.

Zoe; Yeah, I echo that. 110% I think too. Like, I feel like we're kind of past a culture of like, people not having sex on the first day.

London: that was like, be a lady. Don't do that. Keep your legs closed and nowhere. Like we see how much bullshit that is. And we're like, Okay, f@#$! it.

Bethany: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Zoe: While I even think to you, I mean, like, even if it's not like the first day like within the first five dates, but then it's like dates don't even exist anymore. Really?

Bethany: Yeah, exactly. 

London: I don't know relationship timelines and like, stuff is weird now. 

Bethany: Okay. So most people have a tendency to think like your quick little hookup or your knocking on the first date buddy is not really going to be some lasting relationship, right? Actually 1/3 of married couples were originally just hookups. So if you've got somebody you're just shacking up with, you know, like it could it could still work out for you guys one in three a lot. 

Zoe: Yeah, no, that makes sense to you. I mean, I think I've just like, especially even just in the rise of like, dating apps and stuff like that, like, like how many you know, actual relationships started on like, Tinder, you know?

Bethany: Yeah, we'll probably go up even as we get older. 

Zoe: I think even just with like, the pandemic and stuff like how many people are just meeting like, folks online or like, I know, I'm so used to watching 90 Day fiance. What Am I guilty pleasures? I love 90 Day fiance. It's such a train wreck. And it's awful to watch. But like, I love it. So good. Um, but anyways, right after 90 Day fiance like last year, like when the pandemic was definitely like, at its peak. There was a find, I think it was called Find love live where people could literally zoom in and like go on these like blind dates with people but it was like recorded for like, kind of not like the world to see kind of thing. That's how it's framed. I don't I don't know how many viewers CLC was getting up at like 8pm CST, or how many people even just stayed but like, I don't know, I just thought that was really interesting to like, I think the virtual dating space is definitely evolving. 

London: I think that also has to do with dating, culture changing, like people aren't really into dating anymore. I don't know. It's weird. It's weird to explain, like, I don't know how hookups can turn into that. Because a lot of people are just like, I want to hook up and then they're like, oopsies nevermind, which is like, it makes sense for a relationship to progress in that way.

Zoe: I don't even think to have like, how many like actual dates do people even go on before they're like in a relationship, you know, like, I think of like, the whole, like, I mean, even just like Netflix and chill, like, people don't like let's go have a date at like a restaurant or like let's, you know, go to a park or go on a walk. Unless it's like later. They're like, together already. You know, it's like a thing and then you watch a movie.

London: That's a lot of like, first dates, or first get to know us, like, just come over. Right? Literally, it's a pandemic. So especially now more than ever before, people were still like that. They were like, just come over, let's just hang out.

Bethany: Right, hang out. Maybe post pandemic will bring back dating culture, though everyone's gonna be so starved to get into public spaces, let's go on a real date. Like, it'll be like, back in the old days, we're all gonna be at the counters like sharing milkshakes with two straws. Like the old days,without racism. Hopefully.

Zoe: Yes, I echo that. I also like how I feel a lot, just like, first encounters. I mean, so much is this like texting back and forth, you know, like, no one ever goes up to someone like in person is like, hey, love you, or like, I'm feeling things. And so he's just like texting, like vigorously texting, like, Hey, I have feelings for you. What should we do about this? Yeah, I don't know, the way that we get engaged is so different.

London: Social media could also have helped with that. Like, that's awesome. We like dating culture, like a game changer. Because I don't know, people just want to, they just want to text all day. And then like, meet up randomly for one night, which like, it's fine, but weird. It's just that different things are changing.

Bethany: I think if we consider college cultures, that's like an age when a lot of people meet their spouses, even if they don't marry them right away. But like, I met my husband in a dorm setting, like we lived together before we dated and it was like it was pretty much as mixed. Like unisex as far as possible. It was like my neighbor. I don't know, how do you go on dates with the dude you like? It was like the next room over you. It's like, Hey, I live five feet from you. Like you want to just come over and hang out. And I could see how there was a huge hookup culture too. I can't tell you how many of those random little flings ended up being things just because you kept running into those people again, because you lived with them.

Zoe: There's so much to it.

London: ya know? And it's weird. It's like, how do you go from we just hang out all the time in my dorm to like, Hey, are we dating? What's going on? Like.i don’t know

Bethany: I think the marker for the relationship is when they ask you to stop sleeping with other people. Yeah, you know, if they're like, hey, like, don't have sex with people that aren't me. I feel like that's a relationship at that point.

London: I always feel that way. And some people will still be like, Hey, I don't want you to see anybody but we're not going to be together. And that has never made sense to me. Because what is no you either want that person or you don't or they can be with other people because they're not with you.

Bethany: It's such a double standard really so bad. Here's another double standard for you. It's a really common myth that men need to masturbate for their health, but women shouldn't. That's fake that women don't need to masturbate. Yeah, right. Right?

Zoe: Right, well, and I think that's crazy too, because if you roll it back, like, you know, like treatment for hysteria, which was a total BS thing anyways, pretty much if you were not like the perfect housewife, you were diagnosed with hysteria, which is not even a real thing. But anyways, if you had the treatment, one of the treatments for hysteria was like, go with like medical masturbation, and so you'd go and to your doctor's office. So the vibrator was originally created as a medical tool to release stress and women and so you'd go to your doctor and your doctor would prescribe masturbatory sessions for you. So that you'd be sitting there and pretty much getting jerked off by your doctor like Buzz until you come to this kind of situation. And then you'd be all good to go. And you get to go home. So I always thought that was really crazy, too, because people don't realize that like, that was a thing that happened. And it happened for a really, really long time until they finally started introducing, like home vibrators, and then it became like a sex toy. And then you know, there were so many different things with that, too. But yeah, so wild, like did literally like yeah, women can't masturbate, but I'm going to send you to the family doc to like, Come.

London: But really, like driving the point home of like, men in their ownership over women's bodies, because they're like, We know that doing this will help you, but you can't do it. Because what was the reason? Yeah, but we're allowed to do it whenever we want. Because I know that some people feel like masturbating is cheating, which I disagree with. But I feel like if you're allowed to masturbate then I'm allowed to masturbate otherwise, then maybe that's why people see it as cheating because they're like, you're allowed to do it. And I'm not like, what's the relation?

Bethany: My guess is you shouldn't masturbate in a relationship totally masturbating your relationships, and the fact Checky thing and why this is wrong. It actually said it's good for your relationships, because not only does it help you understand your own body, if you're feeling a little frisky, you can get your partner to be involved and he can learn things or they are whoever I just say he because that's mine, but your partner can learn from things about you as well. Also, it's good for your self esteem.

Zoe: Also Yeah, I was thinking about it too, like mutual masturbation is like an act like a sexual act like you can do that with people. I think you should also always masturbate like before you even have sex for the first time or engage in any sort of sexual relation, because then at least you know, yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, what things are i Yeah, yeah. It's hard to know what you want. If you're not actively trying to seek it out yourself  I feel like.

London: if you can't do it for yourself, how could someone else do it for you?

Zoe: Okay, if we're going on the topic of men controlling women's bodies, this one is one of my favorite myths, because I hate it so much, vaginas being tight or loose depending on the amount of sex a person has had? Or the idea of and again, I feel like we've kind of already got into this a little bit, but like the idea of like, after you have a child, your vagina will never be the same.

Bethany: Actually, as someone who's had a child, it totally felt tighter afterwards like it was like a first time situation right after having a baby and I was like, Whoa, because your muscles just heal. They're still so tense afterwards. So no, it does not get looser like Sorry, guys like it gets swollen and horrible. After you have a baby and get all your muscles are super tight and rigid. Sometimes I think what they're talking about is sometimes when you have a baby, your labia can change a little bit, and it can get a little more stretched out. But that has nothing to do with it. If you're doing it just like in the standard penis in the vaginal canal situation, it should have no effects on your pleasure or whatever.

London: literally doesn't get loose.Disclaimer, people should know that. Like I don't know where it just doesn't do that. 

Bethany: You know what’s super duper funny is one of my facts I have here is that the vagina can actually double in size. And you guys are having sex your vagina wears out. So I'm like, if she's super duper tight, or whoever with a vagina is super duper tight. Like ask yourself, are you doing it? Right? Like, if they were super tight, and you're like, ask yourself like, is this a good thing? Or am I doing something wrong? Because it can straighten your vagina, straight up. double in size for sex. It's actually one of the reasons I like menstrual cups. Like, after you have sex you have to wait like two hours before you can take them out. Because your vagina just expands so far back like you can't get the damn thing.


Zoe: Yeah, it fluctuates during your menstrual cycle. So on average, your cervix, it's about like two to three inches inside. Your vaginal close to your vaginal canal is about two to three inches but during sexual intercourse, or just like anytime you're horny, like turned on or whatever, it can literally be like five to seven inches tall. 

Bethany:And it's crazy because there are a lot. Well, I don't know about a lot of men, let me not say that. But a lot of men I've spoken to they won't know that, like anything happens to your vagina, they just know that it's there. And I'll be like, yeah, like the clique gets bigger, and this happens, and this happens. And they're like, What? Like, baby, you're not the only one who gets hard. Like, I think it's that but they just don't pay attention.

Zoe:Right? Like, the whole idea of popping your cherry. So harmful. The fact that people like, first time you have sex, you're supposed to bleed, another awfulness, because it's like that is so harmful among other things, because it literally is easier to have, like you are ripping open your vaginal canal the first time that you have sex, for for what? For what? Like, I didn't even know that one always pissed me off too. And I remember like people get so flabbergasted, I guess when you tell them that like sex, the first time is definitely not supposed to hurt. And it's not supposed to be like an uncomfortable experience. People lose their minds because they're like, so then why does it keep happening? And it's like, because we're not having conversations of sex and like, talking about why this matters and how you know, like, how to even get aroused or like taking the time to even make sure that your partner is aroused. 

Bethany:Yeah, and it really sets up girls for failure so I was expecting the first time to be like, horrible, like, everyone's talking about it. And it was fine. Everyone's always saying, Oh, my God, there was blood, and it hurt. And I was like, What the fuck were you people do and like, I was just chilling. I was like, Oh, this is so bad. What the hell was that about?

London: No, like, it's bad. Like, people are like, Yeah, it hurts. I'm like, no, no, I was the same way. I was like, this is fine. Also, though, I've been masturbating for years, and years and years and years. So I was like, Maybe I'm just used to it. I don't know. So I don't know. I know my vagina. So maybe that's it. It's not supposed to hurt, which is why you shouldn't masturbate. So you know, these things. 

Zoe:Exclamation point.

Bethany: Yeah, it was crazy. Like, to the point the guy didn't like, I mean, it wasn't like a big deal one way or the other, whether or not he had sex before. But I had mentioned that I didn't and he was like, oh, so obviously you lied about that. And I was like, what? Because it didn't hurt. And I didn't. I wasn't like, oh, no, like, because I was fine. So he thought he assumed I was lying in the trench, whatever.

Zoe: I feel like for a sec stories are never like that. Bad. Okay, and this is so one of my friends was like, yeah, like the first time that I had sex, like I scored it, and I was like, okay, you don't get to tell your story anymore. Because you have the best case scenario like that. No, you're like, Shut the hell up. You. Literally, I was just like, Why could you have like, just like, I don't know, awkward experiences, like most of us here.

Bethany: Like hilarious. That was with someone who cared. Someone was like, I'm gonna make this fire for the first time. 

Zoe: Like ah, I want to redo but then also kind of going along with that, like the myth of Well, there's two myths going off of the squirt. The idea that not everyone can squirt, everyone can squirt. If you try hard enough, everyone can squirt you literally like, if you're a person with a vulva, like nine times out of 10. You can squirt, you can do that your body is equipped to do that. It feels like your pain. That's okay.

Bethany: The other one I always hear is that women can't score. I always hear that it's fake.

Zoe: Porn star squirt, where you can score it across the room. I always thought that was weird. You're not going to squirt. Like, that's not you. That's fake.

Bethany: That fake.

Zoe: You're probably in pain at that point, overspreading. Then there are two different things. Also p is not very let it just be said.

Bethany: Yeah. So my husband and I actually Googled it recently. I don't know why we were having the conversation. But suddenly, whatever the hell like female ejaculate was made out of came, like came up. We were like, Wait, so if there's not seeming like in it, obviously like what's in it. And so we ended up googling what was in it. And research study pretty much was like we don't know, some proteins and shit. But one of the first studies that they did on female ejaculation or no vaginal ejaculation, they were testing to see because they originally thought it was just like a symptom of incontinence like these people would orgasm and would make them be themselves. So they did this study where they made them empty their bladders, and then you know, like, masturbate, and they actually showed like, No, this liquid does form separately. And one of the reasons urine often mixes in with it, not only like large quantities, is because when people's vaginas are so often like laying on their backs and they're having sex. So when the fluid develops, it'll slide backwards, like into your urethra, and that's how it mixes in with stuff. So yeah, I don't know why we were looking up what the hell was in vaginal ejaculation. In the conversations we have, I guess.

Zoe: Yeah, no, that makes sense. But also like, I mean, there's never really been a ton of studies on like, what squirt is like, what it is made out of? And like how to even like to do that, I guess. So I just thought that was really interesting.

Bethany: I mean, and let's be honest, how many people are gonna sign up for studies? Like, Hey, do you squirt? You want to come masturbate for us? Like, who's gonna? I personally? I mean, if you're into that sort of thing, Rock on, like, do you? But I am not I'd be like, No thanks, hard

Zoe: path. I feel like it would just be like a bunch of old white doctors that are like, Oh my god, y'all look at this. I just got Buddy for a sec study. Let's watch some women squirt. Like not no.

Bethany: I'm hoping they wouldn't watch. I'm hoping they hook your ASLEF to sensors and like, leave you alone and go away. Because they don't really need to see, they just need to measure how much you know. That's just like little nodes. You stick to things. I'd hope and hope you'd still be able to be by yourself. Could you imagine being that intern though? He's like, Oh, yeah. So I signed up to be this medical intern for this study. Oh, what are they doing? I don't know if I don't want to get the hair.

Zoe: Right. It's like, oh, boy, I love my job.

Bethany:You're the guy who gets to clean up all the sports beds afterwards.

Zoe: Think about like porn, cleanup people. hardcore porn stuff. Like I don’t know. 

London: porn isn't horrible. But I'm just traumatized because I've watched a documentary on porn, where most people didn't actually really want to be there. And now I'm forever like.

Bethany: Yeah, it's like porn as a concept is fine. It's just like execution. Like, it's like the iPhone. It's cool to have but I wish you made it in a more ethical way. I'm gonna make it like a feminist porn company after this.

Zoe: Like make that porn is a really good one. There's one that's like pink.

Bethany: Necessarily behavior doesn't end up working out.

Zoe: That's why I want to do something like that. Well, after I retire Oh, well, I'm going to keep working. After I retire, I want to open a strip club that's super super cool and really on top of everything and like becoming a little house mom. And like, just have like, like really cute bathrooms and like really nice, like shampoos and conditioners and body soaps. And like a food bar. So like people can eat and like make sure that it's like very, like safe and consensual and like, kick men out and they're being fucking gross. Yeah, that's my goal.

Bethany: know what strip clubs are actually normally pretty good about that most of the time a stripper. Like they don't even have to have proof that something went wrong. They go get that guy out of there. And the bouncers are like done out. Yep. Because it's like the women are naked. There's no tolerance for shit.

Zoe: Yeah, that's what I want to do. When do you want to speak about any myths? I feel like I just rolled off the tongue. Ooh.

London: Virginity only applies to vaginal sex. Other kinds of sex don't count. virginity is stupid, the end.

Bethany: Your virginity is not real. The end. 

London: It's this big. You know, cloud and it's like, makes the first time way more stressful than it has to be for most people. That's not even a thing for me. Because I'm like, Okay, I'm having, you know, my first time having penetration, sex and my vagina. But have I been shoving dildos in my vagina for years? Yes. So do I care? No.

Bethany:Where's the line? Are you a virgin? If you do it with toys? Are you a virgin? If it's with another person? Are you so it's like, if we have to start asking ourselves this many questions like, maybe the problem is just the concept altogether.

London: when do you lose your virginity? What are you losing?

Bethany:Exactly? That's a wonderful question. What am I losing? I'm exactly the same now as I was beforehand like what have I lost?

Zoe: Absolutely. I mean, even thinking of the idea of like the purity ring, or like purity rings, and the idea of like Mother Mary being like this, like, I didn't even have sex and I had a try. Like the Immaculate Conception and like all of that, that goes into it. But then I also think too like, medically, I think after six months of not having penetrative sex, you're not considered sexually active anymore, which I always thought was interesting because the idea of like, virginity and then like being sexually active. Another thing that also really pisses me off is the idea and myth that tampons can take your virginity. I don't know who started that and what concept that was like made sense to them.

Bethany: They were like, hey, look, another opportunity to control women's choices. Let's take it.

Zoe; literally. Yeah, yeah, there's so many things that go into that. And I think also just the idea of like, it has to be penetrative sex is totally just erasing like people who are intersex people. Who are not having PvE sex people who are like not engaging in, like just penetrative sex like people who are engaging in like oral sex or anal sex or like wasm sex, you know, like, rollback, you know, 200 years for that. And like, I mean, there's so many things for that, like, can go on sexually, that like are not just like PvE I think also just the idea to have like, Dorgan has to be attached to like a body like I think of like, so if you get pegged the first time. Are you a virgin? Because technically, it wasn't like, centering your body? What was the person attached to that? So I don't know. 

Bethany: Okay now, we can even take it a step ahead. If you say it has to be a vagina being penetrated to be sex, then if a person Phox a vagina with a strap on, okay, where's that it was a person, but it was a toy between like, so they had sex or didn't say. 

Zoe: Right, it's like, Does each organ or does each like hole on your body have like its own virginity standards? Like, is my mouth different from mine?

Bethany:Well see, that's why you get shit like, God's back door. Hopefully, you guys know that one. loopholes. For listeners who don't know what God's back door is. God's back doors, the idea that if you have anal sex, it still counts as saving your virginity for God. So I think the line there's a line on a song that goes sodomy is okay, but only if you're straight. 

Zoe: I was gonna say, I know, I've heard that aspect too. Or at least Yeah, I've heard that before. I always just thought it was kind of funny, too. There was a movie that I really liked, and I can't think of what it is. But it's like an old rom com where those girls like no family, let them put it in the back. So like, saving the front for marriage or something like that. And I just thought it was so funny. And I was just like, I think that was like again, just like one of the first times that I've ever like encountered like gods backdoor as even like being like a thing, but it's like very, like anti queer because it's like, how are you gonna say here and like go to protests and you know, even just like have this idea that like, I don't know, you can only participate in legal if you're unmarried and straight. And a person who is probably a woman would make sense because it does not.

Bethany:They have their set morals to oppress people. But when it comes to themselves, they'll make up excuses for why it's okay. It's like I read this I read this thing recently about pro life women getting abortions unit was this nurse talking about it, and she was talking about how the people were pro life would come in for a bar abortions and like scream with other people in the clinic, even though they were there for the same reasons that the pro-lifer was, but they would convince themselves that their reason was a good reason. And it was okay when they did it. It's just not okay for other people to do it. Obviously, they don't have good reasons. So it's just an opportunity to oppress, but still be able to free yourself morally of your own like restraints.

Zoe: It's like the confessional booth would not fix all of your problems. I'm so sorry to tell you. 

Bethany:Give the church the money. God, I'll forgive you then.

Zoe: Yeah, no, that's a real thing, though. Give the church some money. And they'll definitely forget. That's where your little like weekly donation was a little bit that week. Sorry, Jesus. Here's my capital contribution. I also think just like how capitalism plays into virginity, like the construct of virginity. Have you ever thought about that nerve intersection? How so? So like the idea of like, you think of all of like, the, like, how we mark certain things like, okay, like, have you ever seen teen like pads and tampons that are supposed to be smaller bodies? It's like, I don't really know if that's your intended goal. I'm gonna be honest.

Bethany: I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump in defense of that one. I know little girls who started when they were like nine years old. Do you look like some of those have cutesy little cartoon characters and shit that you can tell us are still targeted towards? I think they're really targeted towards children with periods but they don't want to say children have periods because that's like, Oh, no.

Zoe: Oh, I know. I could see that. For sure. That makes sense. That makes sense. Anything, especially the age of menstruation, is dropping constantly. But yeah, I'm trying to think of something else like a purity ring's purity rings, especially like the idea of like, you get something because you're a virgin. I also think people do gifts with that. That's the thing, I think, but there's a specific name for it where it's like you have this like, it's like a pledge of some sort.

Bethany: I know they'll do like little ceremonies where they'll wear like, like super hardcore, obviously not everybody like super hardcore.They'll wear like little wedding dresses, and they're like 10 year old little girls. Little girls have no idea what the hell they're even talking about. Yeah, but then I even think to have like, you know, like little like baby bodysuits that are like Daddy's Little Princess and the idea of like, like, your dad still owning you as a baby.Oh, my God. As a mother. I have a daughter. She's gonna be four in a couple months now. And the little baby the B section for little girls is the weirdest fucking section. Like Daddy says I can't date until I'm married on a onesie. Yeah, you know what the onesies sold with? Cut off booty shorts that don't even cover the diaper. Why does my baby need cut off booty shorts that don't even cover her diaper? How am I both hyper sexualizing and putting her on a pedestal of like purity, like at the same time, like how and this was in the same store? And I wish I was like, I wasn't talking about a specific instance. But I am like it's just insanity. Like how many of them are about very heteronormative and ship dating.

London: And like, directed towards children literally makes me so uncomfortable. Like when people are like, even with babies boy and girl baby are like near each other and they're like, Haha, he's a he's a ladies man or something like that. And it's like, you know, you're talking about children, right? Like, I know you guys don't understand that because it's like being normalized, which is freaking weird on its own. But like me, I'm immediately like, don't Why are you doing that with kids?

Zoe: Yeah, like that was a child.

Bethany:I was what if he's gay? Really? Well, my next one, obviously, the one I get is that I'll have to be boys off with a stick. I'm just gonna be like, What if she's ugly? And it's your own kids. Let's shock people into being like, what? I'm gonna be like, what if she grows up? He's ugly as hell, like, you don’t know.She might not be beaten anybody off with a stick? Stop asking stupid questions.

London: Are we hyper sexualizing children and then getting mad when they're hypersexual.

Zoe: literally, like I even think of the entire idea of like, like, I know, there's an argument of like, we should raise like the age in which people can get involved with like sex work and stuff to 21 but it's like we hyper sexualized children, why wouldn't people want to turn to sex work. And it's not even just like the idea of like, like, that being the core idea, because I think there's so many other things that play into that, like, obviously, we live in a capitalist, capitalistic society, like it's so hard to make money. Not that it's easy money, but like, especially in the pandemic, like it's pretty fucking quick to set up and only fans and like to get to it, but anyways, like the very anti sex work age, gap, and all of that like and how we're very specific and how we like things to be and I even think of like the porn categories where it's like, like stepchildren or like, you know, busty teen or like, I like anything team related. Or like a young girl or you know, anything like that. I'm just like, That's sick. Like that is sickening. Because I think those things go hand in hand. I mean, even just yeah, like I even do that sometimes if my dog but like, I don't know, I see the animals who has or at her house. Like I see my dog is like a sweet little lesbian. And I see the cat is like a sweet little bisexual man.

Bethany: Like your children are harmed by that. You're a fucking column a lesbian. Your kids are harmed by you. constantly pushing that heterosexual narrative and shit. Yeah, your cat is never going to know what it means to be a bisexual man. Okay, he doesn't care.

London: I do have hopes for him though.

Bethany: Honestly, he's a cat. If given the opportunity, he probably would. Okay. Literally. Absolutely. Humans are the only ones so hung up on that.

Zoe: literally. I mean, I even think of the amount of like, you know, like, I think it was like a penguin couple, who like it was just like this, like, these two little boy penguins found this egg and started parenting this egg. And everyone was like, Oh, it's a little gay, like a penguin cup couple. And it's like, they're literally just like trying to care for this fucking egg. Like we can.

Bethany:So penguins are actually they make an exception because penguins do meet for like, there are straight up gay penguins.

Zoe:So penguins are actually they make an exception because penguins do meet for like, there are straight up gay penguins.

Bethany: Most animals have some form of homosexuality. And it's like, no biggie.

London: No, yeah, I tell people all the time. We're the only ones who're caught up in it, like nobody else cares. It's just sex and sexuality. It's like, we're literally the only ones this caught up in it. And we're caught up in it. We can't even do it. Right? Because we're hyper sexualizing kids and all that stuff. Maybe we should be focused on that. And not what two grown adults are doing.

Zoe: I think that's a good segue to our next myth that I can think of which is just like the idea of turning gay or like turning by or like not inherently always just having that as a part of you. And I think yeah, there's a lot of harm to be to be assessed within that narrative of you know, everyone is straight until they're not or everyone is straight until XYZ event or I mean, I even think of the like idea of like, well, like, I'm definitely not straight but like, I can suppress it and it's like, but you don't have to You.Sex and Sexuality, it's like, we're literally the only ones this caught up in it. And we're just caught up in it. And we can't even do it right? Because we're hyper sexualizing kids and all that stuff, maybe we should be focused on that, and not what two grown adults are doing.

London: I think that's a good segue to our next myth that I can think of, which is just like the idea of turning gay or like turning by or like, not like inherently, always just having that as a part of you. And I think, yeah, there's a lot of harm to be to be assessed within that narrative of, you know, everyone is straight until they're not, or everyone is straight until XYZ event or I mean, I even think of the like, idea of like, well, like, I'm definitely not straight, but like, I can suppress it. And it's like, but you don't have to know. 

Zoe: No, it makes it in depending on your environment, a lot of people will just shut that down and never explore. And I'm like, can you imagine how much happier or how much more satisfied you could be sexually and you're completely shutting off that possibility. Especially men who just won't engage in buttplate? Because it's gay. And I'm like, You guys literally have a G spot in your ass and you're scared. Because that's gay. I'm like, how like, to me, I'd be like, all up in there. I'd be like, ooh, Y'all said that might be pleasurable. Let me try that. Like what is a we got what is it was people in like denying themselves pleasure? Because of the way it's going to be seen by society? Like who is in your bedroom with you?

Zoe: Now? i Okay, this plug yours? No, I don't do that

Bethany: I hear he or she says to the entire .

Zoe: Yeah, literally plug everyone's ears. No one listened to this anyways. No, I'm like, honestly pegging men is one of my favorite sexual activities. Like, you like bending a man. Oh, pounding them in the ass is so fun. So fun.

London: So bad!

Zoe: you get the opportunity to do it. It's a for both people. So like, like I and I've engaged in 15 before, like, that's another that's a whole thing. So fisting really, really scared me at first. And then I got into and I was like, I mean, past the fact that like, I could probably rip out your organs. Like if I wanted to, oh, my God. And there's a lot of work that like goes into it too. So like donate like, someone who I'm like, who was not like used to having like, large objects in your butthole probably don't think you're ever going to seem because it's not going to happen. Anyway, it's so blessed to have found me. lets me do that to him. I'm like, long males and everything. But I think that even that says a lot to like the idea of like experimentation. I mean, even if you're not like ready to do that with a partner, you can still like, try it with yourself, you know, like, by little by plug by little whatever, like, you know, us a household object with a flared base. With a flared base. You don't get anything if you put anything up your butt flared, base flared. Anyway. And if you're like, wow, why is that a thing? Look up X rays of people with odd objects stuck in there, but because it's such a thing, but yeah, like, like, I made like a grown ass man's like, like shake. I mean, it took him a minute to like, get on his feet and like, move around. And I'm like, that's nice. Like, that's a power move. And I'm like, no one else. You can do that to yourself. That's all me. That's me. And I thought that was I mean, that's really cool, too. So like, yeah, like, try it out if you're able to, I think also just yeah, the idea to like, that's just like so not normalized. I'm like, Y'all gotta like a whole G spot.

London: But my whole thing is like, you're going to probably be having, you're gonna be having sex for the rest of your life. And you want me to stick to PMV penetration. There's only so many positions you can do. There's only so much you can do that is boring. Listen up if you're only doing POV sex, boring, try something new. This is where you actually have.

Bethany: A myth that if we want to segue, I have another myth for that. So there's a myth that most or all women can come through vaginal penetration. And that is not true. Only about 25% of women can come through penetration alone consistently. That's not enough. And that was consistently like just because you can do it like once or twice like that's not once or twice isn't enough to justify assuming, like, like, I think Freud even call I mean, fuck Freud in general. But I think Freud even called like clitoral orgasms like immature orgasms, and there's like, I don't know like, I don't I don't know women think only penetration is or No, I don't know. I'm gonna I'm gonna say sis men in this situation. Let's be honest. Well, I don't know why so many sis men think just penetration is enough. 

Zoe:That's it that's gonna really get you and it's like, but it won't. It just won't even seem that it'd be like it has to be less. Like, I wonder how many if people light on that, just a thought just a little thought in my noggin, but, um, I think there's also something to be said to have like the people who even like can orgasm from just straight TV sex. I'm like, also taking into account the idea of having like, the clip isn't just like your little Like button. It's also like it comes down around your vaginal canal. And so like, if you have a clip that comes around and sits a little bit closer to your vaginal canal, or you have someone with a penis who might like or just like any sort of Oregon or fingers or like literally whatever being inserted into your vaginal canal, like if you have something that's like hitting those areas, like it's still clitoral stimulation. But anyways, we don't really talk about that.

Bethany: It said it said through penetration, it did not say without students it said through strict penetration.

Zoe: See, yeah, yeah. And I feel like with a little bit of fluff, your plate might be different. But I'm also just like, can anyone even come from straight PD sex? You'll say that me, not I.

London: Because, like, how can like, we know, but we've gone so long and men, it just, it can't be that man. I can't think like that and we can go back to sis men if we want but just don't know more than they don't care to know. Because Come on, come on. Y'all have to have some intuition of what y'all are doing in to think that y'all can just get away with fucking PV penetration, and that'd be it. And then y'all wonder why so many people fake an orgasm, I would never because I would never let them in. Think he did something. Right when he didn't.

Bethany: Take it for anybody. Another myth was that only women fake orgasms. And actually 31% of men have faked an orgasm before. So men don't think about your orgasms either. And everyone in between.

London: It doesn't it doesn't help anything. Please be open with your sexual partner and let them know like, cuz you're not going to get anywhere. I've read this book where every time they were having sex, it was painful. Come to find out years and years later, he was tearing up her cervix. It was so bad, it was so bad. And I'm like, that makes me sad. Because it's so normalized that it's supposed to be for her. This is why we have to end those stigmas because people are gonna think it's supposed to hurt. It's not supposed to hurt for years and years and years. Please, if it hurts stop.

Bethany:  I totally agree with that. But I also feel like there's like, there's like a limit to what you can do about it still, because so many doctors don't really want to address the information or know how to. I know after I had a baby for like the first. Like six months to a year I want to say my cervix was so tender. Like I went in for a pap smear. And it felt like I got stabbed and like, sex was like, we had to be super, super careful. And I asked, I told my gynecologist about it. And she went, Oh, that's weird. And that was it.

Zoe: Like, if it's weird. Tell me why.

Bethany: If you think it's weird, don't you want to address it? Maybe?

Zoe:Yeah, no, I think there's also the medicalization aspect that really plays into it too. Or it's like, and I feel like that's definitely a big reason why? Because it's like, why would you ever want to address it? I think we have it so ingrained in our minds that sex is like, or if you're in a relationship, especially if you have to be having sex, you have to be regularly engaging in sex when that's not the case. Another myth, um, I am like, you know, like, if you can't perform like, you're like a bad partner, and like how much we even tie like sexual activity to like relationships. And you know, yeah, I just thought that was weird. I'm looking for a sexual problem. Yeah. The other one that I thought about, well, there's two more that I wanted to kind of talk about. One, the idea that, like, the emphasis on big dicks, like big old penises. Ooh, you know, like, yeah, like, it's just really not better or worse, necessarily, like, if it works, it works. But like, there's also a possibility that it might not be the thing that works for you.

Bethany: Didn't you say earlier that the vagina only expands like four inches, too? Yep. Like if your pack and like a 10 inch stick? Where are you? Where's all that going, buddy?

Zoe: Because you're never gonna go balls to also, like the aspect of like, you gotta go balls deep. Yeah, so it's like, and I know so there is a really, really neat sex toy. And it's I wouldn't even consider it a sex toy, necessarily, even though I think it's like it categorizes as such. It's called the O nut. This is not an ad. I just think it's really really cool. But it's made for people with larger penises to like, either like not harm your partner or I cannot go so deep you can't like like you hurt them. But if you can stack them up and so you can like control the size of your penis with like, still get that like, full penis. I don't know, sensation I guess. So yeah, it's really really cool. It's called the oh nine.

Bethany: Yes, that's actually really smart. 

Zoe: Yeah. And so like for people who are like packing some fucking major penises, like can still get pleasure from that which I thought was really interesting too because I think you know in this like the you know how we always just like, I want to say like, like whatever body part is in. So it's like boobs are in and then like, like big dicks are the thing now like if you have a big ol penis like you're good. But anyway, it's just yeah, the idea to have like, they're probably not getting anything out of like, you know what I mean? Like, there's just no, it's like, what can you do with the base of your penis, but now you have something to do with it. So that was really cool. I also I've never liked I've always thought of like, the people are like, Oh, this, like I can take you know, like 10 inches, and it's like, can you really,really do that? 

London: We feel like that's so weird, because I will hear like so many women be like, I don't know, I don't know if it's true. Or if it's just propaganda like the men say it's so much that we hopped on there. Like for me, I'm like, I do not need a huge dick. So I've actually, like looked this up, because I think it's interesting and read articles about women talking about it. And they'll just say as women, like, Does size really matter. And a lot of women will say no, it doesn't matter what you do with it. Let's not men that are only or not even men, people with dicks. It only matters what you do with it. And I don't know if this is true or not. So this could be a myth, it could not be a myth. But they're like, if you're a small person, there's only so much your agenda is going to stretch. And if you're a bigger person, you could probably take a bigger dick and I wonder if that's true.

Bethany: It actually has a lot to do with the size of your pelvis and like so, like a really big person could have a really small set pelvis and really small everything going on out there. And like a small person can have a really wide set pelvis and it matters more on what's going on on the inside.

Zoe: Yeah, I also think to have like, so this is just kind of like a fun thing that I my friend and I have but as her and I well she's been saying for years, like like the five inches or your like husband dicks and then like a nap is like the hook optics. Because if you're trying to get destroyed, completely blown out, you go forever, you know, you go for a little bit bigger, but like if you're trying to stay with this person for a long time, like you might want a more like average sized penis. I think there's also the idea to have like, the average sized penis is like not that large. Like what is it? It's five inches, I think.

London: me and my boyfriend actually just discovered that Well, me my boyfriend, my friends, everyone. Basically we're like, well, a lot of the dicks you see in porn are actually big. And five inches actually isn't a lot. And that's the average and I never knew how much five inches was until because I've never been so it was five inches. So I looked into it. And I'm like, dang, that's not a lot. And we're sitting here thinking like eight inches is the norm but that's not the norm. That's an eight inch your baby,No wonder.

Bethany: I haven't written down. Only 3% of men have a penis longer than seven inches.

Zoe: Is like a ridiculously small amount. I will never ever ever trust someone if someone says that their penis is over seven inches. Unless I can see it. Prove it. Fucking prove it to me.

London: When you see exactly, you're wrong.

Zoe: So I figured we can end with one more. The other one that I really wanted to talk about two is the wealthy idea that kind of goes off of what you were saying about how we deal with like orgasms and like faking orgasms. The idea that sex one cannot be good without an orgasm. That sex ends with a male orgasm and the idea that like yeah, like the men like the man in the relationship and it's very like the system man is always the person who should come first and that should like once the man comes like you're done cuz you're like if you didn't get to come that's your own deal.

London: It's like the thing with like, sis men and stuff that doesn't make sense to me. As a person if I'm with someone sexually, I've always wanted to please them so I don't know if that's like a woman thing or like why? Because I don't even want to say when because that's not even accurate because of gender and shit and I don't even.

Bethany: I know a bunch of sis dudes that are into that too. That's more personality than anything I know about a bunch that are into people.

London: It's young men, that's probably what it is. That's what it is.

Zoe:Ya know, and I think it's really interesting too, but like just like the idea like we really placed so much energy on like men, okay, just I like the contradiction of men come first, but then also like when men come that it's that's that's  And it's like, do I get to go? Ever?

Bethany: You have to go to the doctor to come. So yeah, literally the doctor and getting rubbed out if you want to get your husband is not going to do that. Right?

London: Go to the doctor and get one rubbed out for you.

 Bethany: People listening don't let your guy know do that to you now for the love of God. That's not that's very, very illegal. I know we're talking about it like it's modern for the love of God. Don't let your doctors do that to you now.

Zoe: No, no, you should totally report that if you are experiencing. But yeah, yeah, no. And I think like I and I think it's just like, again, one of those ways that we just like further control of women's bodies.

London: you know, except completely in most Smith's sex is like it completely revolves around the man. But what happens when there are no men? The orgasms go up!

Bethany: Yeah, I have a list. I have a list of people who get the most orgasms and lesbians were number one, Republicans were really high up there. But it was a survey so I didn't know if they were just really good at lying. If someone was gonna lie about whether or not they got off.

Zoe: It's like they had to catch up with how many kids they have.

Bethany: It's my personal policy. If typically, sis men only get like one, one or two big ones out of four, they gotta call it quits. You know, men versus women can pump out a couple. So like, sure he can be last. If after he gets one out. He can't do more, that's fine. But uh, he better be putting in all the work beforehand. Like that means like, I better be going first, second, and third.Okay!

London: Just because you're done doesn't mean I'm done. So keep working. And that doesn't have to mean PV six. And there we go.

Bethany: But actually I have this friend, and he was a guy and he was telling me about his girlfriend. He was like, oh, yeah, I always have to give her head before we have science because sometimes I'm like, oh, no, let's have sex. We'll give you a hit after and he's like, What? As soon as I come in, like, oh, no, I'm good. And I'm like, wait, you admit that to me? Like that's something you feel like sharing like, what? You're not embarrassed by that? Like, I'd be ashamed. Fuck you do? Can you do your damn job?

Zoe:I don't know. How was that not like a halfway job? It's weird because men like to brag that they're good. But only when they have a good time. And then they'll be like, I did so good. But it's like, what?

Bethany:  That was amazing. And you're sitting there like, it's like, but did you think?

Zoe: All right. No. So there was one time that I was just like hooking up with this guy. They just wanted to be like, okay, so I'm gonna come first, and then I'm gonna be like, okay, I'm good. Alright, thanks. Just to see. He was so mad. so mad. He's like, Why didn't he come and I was like, sorry. And I still to this day, that was like everything. And he liked it, he had never talked to me. He didn't talk to me since but I was just like, like, that really hurt your ego. Hmm. Is that where I came first? And then I was just like Okay.

London: I don't know if that's healthy. Like they'll get like, unhealthy amount emotionally attached to come in. And it's like, are you okay?

Bethany: They never heard know, before. You just said it to them just now.

Zoe: Yeah. Or even. It's just the idea that they don't know how to do sex unless they come. 

Bethany: Okay well then we didn't have sex that's on.

Zoe:  Yeah, cool.

London: But it's blue balls real?

Zoe: No

Bethany: Actually, actually, actually, actually, when I looked up in the mirror, it said, Yeah, but they're totally exaggerating. Yes. When you're aroused, your testicles do tie in. It doesn't hurt. Like they say it does. Yeah, they can feel it. But it's like, they're just being big weenies about it. Play. I am not a doctor. But my brief internet research said, yeah, there's a tightening. No, it doesn't hurt.

Zoe: Yeah. If it hurts, you should probably call your doctor. Oh, and I think that's the thing, too, is like, yeah, like that idea of like, if men can't come, but they get aroused. What are you gonna do? And I'm like, How many people have had boners just for No, God damn it. Like, I don't know what to tell you. I had to either this other guy that I was hooking up with. You're getting all my stories today. Anyways, I'm with myself literally, like I go over there. And he would like to stand so close to me. And I'm like, like, I'm still trying to, like talk to you, like have a conversation and all this like, it's like, not a big deal. And he would just be like, but you're just so sexy. And I'm like, Dude, I am literally in like, a t- shirt and a pair of jeans. Like there's like, like, this is what I look like just like normally, like you literally don't have my permission to sexualize me right now also like, but just the idea of like, how it's like, well, we banned once and so like now I can sexualize you like whenever I want. I've noticed that's definitely a big trend. 

London: So many instances there of horniness, it's kind of like they're trying to make it your problem, not my problem. You see, but they try to make it your problem. And I wonder if men are so entitled when it comes to sex.

Zoe: Yeah, the amount of times that like corniness is projected on to, it's not even you it's always your body. And it's never you, it's never what you're doing, what you're looking at, you know, it's always what you're looking at, like how you're standing. What you're, you know, I guess like what you're doing. It's not you know, it's not like…

Bethany: Like wow, Zoe, when you talk about social change though it just really gets me going. It's not like that it's like Damn. Today, you know?

Zoe:And yeah I'm just like, take a deep breath stand back, like, just sit on that for a little bit sit on those feelings without engaging in them. I also see that reminds me so I was on top of this one guy once and I was like, Stop, like trying to thrust inside of me like I I am the master of this station. Let me control this. This guy was like, no, like, I literally like I can't help it. Like I will always like I just I can't not thrust and I'm like, But you literally like you're in control of your body.

London: Like when men are corny suddenly they're not in control of their bodies. I feel like so much shit is like bullshit. Because it's like, as a woman, I'm fine. And if I'm fine, you're fine. Yeah. You've just never been here to tell you that. You can be horny and still act like a normal fucking human being. It's always morning. I have to like no you don't.

Zoe: Horny cis Men can never be challenged. Because if you challenge them, they will straight up break the fuck down. Sometimes I really like to wonder too. It's like no one's really just challenged you like you've really just internalized all of it like the porn you've watched or like…

Bethany: At the same time that they're internalizing all this porn culture. Little girls are internalizing all this purity culture. So they ended up with these boys who just had porn porn porn and these girls who didn't know anything. So are these girls who don't know anything gonna stand up to them? Like who's gonna? It's like, you need every dude to data hoe at least once. And I mean it like if she needs to have had sex with at least like five other six other dudes like before you like at some point, just so that way somebody can be like, No, dude, you're fuckin doing this shit wrong. Right?

Zoe: If you are a person who is engaging sexually with a theSIS man, I encourage you to challenge him just to see what happens because it's a real eye opener with some people. I mean, there's been some people who are like, this is great. And then it's like you like, and then they're always like, well, you killed the mood. And it's like, I was never in the mood in the first place. Like, let's make that very clear. So yeah, Challenge Challenge your, your local sis, man,

Bethany: ​​I don't know, he feels like it's awkward or too shy to like, bring it up with your sexual partner that you don't like what they're doing. You know, people love praise to like, if you don't like things that they're doing, you can really hype up the things that you do like, and I'll do that more. Or if they haven't done that before, lie and say you really liked when they did blah, blah,

Zoe:  They might remember.

Bethany:They'll be like Hell yeah, I totally did that. You're like, yeah, good. And then they'll do it again.

Zoe: Make sure it's not too out there.

London: I love when you let me peg you.

Bethany: Obviously I think you're too damn shy to even tell them like stuff. You're probably not jumping straight into pegging and bullwhip sight now anyway. Your if you if you don't feel like you can, like just openly communicate with them. It's probably like, Oh, hey, I like when you touch me there. You know, the king here people tend to be pretty open about it.

London: That's true. Yeah, no, you shouldn't be scared. I feel like if you communicate something with your sexual partner, and they get upset and want sex with them, yeah, that's kind of like, like if you were going to do this and you're not going to help me then I just don't want to be here.

Zoe: I mean, even if there's something that like you don't particularly like like you definitely have the authority to say that you don't like it and it's also not in your jurisdiction to like control how they react or like feel like you were in the wrong because you express something that you did or didn't like, do you have to suck his dick but he won't eat you out. Big Red Flag you should leave.

London: First helping people were seven people not getting ahead just go listen to everyone getting hit or no one's getting hurt and what a story.

Zoe: Exactly I get head first

Bethany: good basis for anything to like, if any dude wants to try anal with you be like okay, but I get to peg you first. Yeah, do you want to do it to me? I gotta do it to you first like that's not that's not a bad like because general rule is that

London:it's about give and take and that's what people don't know.

Zoe: Sorry, cis man. I will not cater to your every whim. F@#!$ you,f%$#@ you. I'm literally here to f!@#$# you. 

London: I've heard this before where it's like, Oh, if you made them come but you didn't come up. Got them?

Bethany:There was one last myth I did want to cover because I felt like it was kind of an important one. So it actually has more to do like a little bit back when you're talking about like penis size. So when I mentioned to you like you're getting down with a guy, and he puts on a condom and tells you the condom doesn't fit. Where do you think and is he full of shit? Or is he on to something? full of shit. Yeah, wrong. They're made one size fits all no making anything one size fits all is a problem. Now they wanted to make the plastic tarp big enough for people with large penises. But they have to make the tight rubber ring small enough so they don't slide off smaller penises. So even though yes, you can stick your entire forearm into a condom. That rubber ring is actually often too tight. For some people. It's like when you go into a store, and like three stores, we buy the same size pair of jeans and they all fit differently. You just have to find the one that fits you best. However, if he's trying to get you to have sex with him anyway, he's a dick. But if he's like, Hey, this condom doesn't work. We need to find something new. Like he actually quit. He actually might be honest, something. Also foreskin plays a role in it too. Often mental foreskin needs tighter condoms to help hold the foreskin back. And yes, like he was saying in a lot of cases, it's not that the condom is too small in a lot of cases, it's that the condom is too big as well

Zoe: Yeah, no, that makes sense. That makes sense. I think there's also the amount of people that are like that. And again, always assist men always assist men that are like, Fuck Rhonda, or like the idea of ghost gene. And like the idea of like, which scene is the act of being with someone. Like you're doing something sexual and they take off the condom without your knowledge. It's a form of sexual violence.

Bethany: Oh, you mean? Selfing?

Zoe: Yeah, yeah. So that's another word for it, too. Yep. Yeah, all right. Yeah, cuz stealthiness, where you take it off mid session. Ghosting is where you tell someone that you have a condom on. And then you take that off. Or you just don't put it on in the first place. And you tell that person you have a you have a condom on, which again, both are instances of sexual violence. And like, I cannot screen that louder because it happened so frequently. And like, like, how often does something not fit in? You're like, Oh, bummer. Like, I just don't want to ruin the mood. Or, like, I'm about to get some posts, or like, whatever. I'm about to get some Busey, you know, like, there's so many other things like, you know, that, that go into that. So I just thought that it really was.

London: you can please watch the person put on the condom, because that happened to my friend and someone, someone she was hooking up with, frequently, but she also knew he was hooking up with other people and still tried that on her. And she was like, No, you didn't put that on? I literally, I know you didn't do that. But it's so disgusting to me that someone will try to do that. Why would you lie about something like that? Like, it doesn't make sense to me like this is.

Bethany:because, you know, they say no without it, and they still want to fuck, it's like, and another horrible tips that I'm sorry, I have to give people the first time or first couple of times if you don't trust them, have sex with them, where you're facing them. Because if you're turned over, as soon as they pull out, they can pull it off.

Zoe:And it's like that people like even have to be aware of that, or just people in general have to be aware of that. But like, pay attention, but also like if you're a person keep on the fucking condom. It literally is so easy. Don't take it, don't take it off. Unless you've explicitly asked someone and they say yes, don't fucking take that shit off. Keep that shit on your fucking junk. I'm like, it is so easy to just not take it off. Literally just keep it the fuck off.

Bethany: Like, even if you don't care about your own goddamn healthy, but your poor fucking partner dude. Like don't be a PC.

Zoe: And also, if someone is arguing with you, and you feel like you have to like to give in to them because they're like, just not gonna work on them. That's also a form of sexual violence that we've somehow normalized over like, however long we're kind of like.

Bethany: So the contrast to this was people who are so cautious they double bag their condoms. Oh, don't do that. Right. Yeah. So Double bagging your condom is when you put two condoms on. Now this is very bad because your condom is designed to go on skin and skin. Not other condoms. So that friction is not really. So you're actually more likely to break your condom if you have to.

London: Why would you do that?

Bethany: That one's well intentioned. Like it was dude was like, Hey, I messed up because I double bagged it. I would be like, at least like your intention was to protect me like it was stupid. At least you tried.

London: You just feel you dumb as what Cut. When did you think that was a good idea? Okay.

Bethany: But I can forgive stupid before I can forgive someone who's like, Oh, I'm gonna take it off when she's not looking like at least this person is just dumb.

Zoe: It's well intentioned at least. 

Bethany: Yeah, like you meant well.

London: At least he's trying to try his best!

Bethany: He's like yeah, I'm gonna go the extra mile.

Zoe: No person can really trust me if I do this and it's like that we don't just have one broken condom we have two.

Bethany: Good try, like a or will not for effort because God knows what now but maybe last forever.

Zoe: All right, now that we covered all of those super amazing, awful, crazy myths. And hopefully you got some sort of facts from everything and heard some things that might have resonated with you or learned something new. We will see everyone next time for the next episode. And thanks for listening to us,Bye!

London: Bye!

Bethany: Bye!