Transcribed by: Hawa Kante

Zoe: Welcome to the very first episode of Lemon-Aid! I am the CEO and Founder of Necessary Behavior, which is an organization that speaks against unhealthy social norms, works to create a culture of consent and promotes healthy sexuality. And I'm here with Jess!

Jess: Jess. My name is Jess!

Zoe: Yes!

Jess: Yes, it’s Jess! Yeah, my name is Jess. I’m blanking on my head right now because I drank a little too much wine before this!

Zoe: This is take two for everyone who is listening so if you saw our promo on Instagram, you may be hearing that or you may be hearing this version. If you hear us swallow, I’m sorry, it’s just the wine. If you hear us pour wine;

Jess: It’s wine!

Zoe: Pour a glass yourself.

Jess: Yes, hear a pour, pour a pour.

Zoe: Yes!

Jess: Um, so anyways, my name is Jess and I am currently working on my sex educator certificate this year, that’s a big goal of mine, and I’m also working for the local school district in a local non-profit working with persons with disabilities, just an extreme passion of mine.

Zoe: She’s doing a lot and she’s so cool. And, that’s why she’s here.

Jess: Thanks

Zoe: Yeah, of course!

Jess: Anyways, so Zoe kind of explained who we are, what we are, and why we’re making this podcast. It’s really just to educate the general public, you guys;

Zoe: We’re so glad that you’re here listening to us. Also, so excited for this podcast.

Jess: Yes, we are. And we just want to clarify, before we get started that we are not experts at all but we believe that everyone is an expert on their own bodies. So you know your body best and we’re not trying to tell you what you should do and what you should not do with your body. Just go with your gut, go with your heart, go with your head. Those three organs.
Zoe: Take a mirror and look at your genitals! That is my singular piece of advice. And I don’t, I, I don’t know. It’s one of those things that can be so uncomfortable but I’m like, do it! It is so important. Like, learn what you look like down there. Look at your anus!

Jess: Yeah, anyways, so what Zoe is saying right now, it is important to understand your body and your body functions. I mean this isn’t going to be an anatomy course, we’re just going to talk about general stuff. Maybe not in this podcast but in podcasts to come, so yeah,

Zoe: And we’re kicking it off with sex ed because we know that nearly no one, is that right?

Jess: Well maybe not nearly no one. But, like maybe a vast majority of people.

Zoe: Yeah, a vast majority *cough cough* the south.

Jess: Yeah, everyone.

Zoe: Yeah pretty much. Everyone in public school, everyone who is homeschooled, everyone in a small school district, everyone who - I’m sorry, my list could continue. But, anyways no one received adequate sex ed. And even if they did receive comprehensive sex ed, there are so many pieces that are left out comprehensive sex education and um, and that’s why we’re here and that’s why we’re doing what we’re doing specifically within this episode.

Jess: We will be discussing sex education specifically within the United States. So sex education in the United States falls under two categories, one being comprehensive sex education;

Zoe: That we love!

Jess: We love comprehensive sex education. We like it better than it’s counterpart which is abstinence-only until marriage sex education.

Zoe: Which we hate so much!

Jess: We don’t like it! And we’ll discuss why. So, we like comprehensive sex education because it is more inclusive than abstinence-only education. It is instructional, method-based, on curriculum shit. It’s the hot shit.

Zoe: So, yeah. It’s science-based, and it’s based off of research.

Jess: Mhm.

Zoe: And factual-based information and studies. News flash! Abstinence based education is not, we’ll get more into it in a second.

Jess: Anyways, comprehensive sex education aims to provide students with the knowledge, skills, and values that hopefully give students information to make healthy choices within their sexual lives. What it’s doing in a whole is to provide students with information to make healthy and safe choices about their bodies because, in the end, it’s their body and they should be the one to decide what they want to do with it. They should be able to be confident and feel good with the decisions they are making. Would you agree?

Zoe: I would agree, wholeheartedly!

Jess: So what does comprehensive sex education teach students? It’s a lot more than not having sex before you are married.

Zoe: Don’t get pregnant or else you will die because Jesus is watching you come right now.

Jess: In this podcast.

Zoe: Yeah!

Jess: So example of what else to teach your students is about STIs, HIV, and HPV reducing unplanned and unwanted pregnancies, domestic violence, sexual violence, consent, safe sex, abortion, contraception,

Zoe: communication.

Jess: Yes, all the “c”s!

Zoe: Yeah communication, contraception,

Jess: Consent!!

Zoe: All the good things are necessary to make educated, informed, healthy decisions based on who you are no matter what your sexuality or gender is, and it’s so so important.

Jess: It’s so so important, yeah!

Jess: Umm, however comprehensive sex education does promote sexual abstinence as the safest sexual choice for young people, which is true. It’s not our favorite choice at all. I’m looking at Zoe. She likes I’m not feeling this.

Zoe: Ohh it’s not!

Jess: I mean if you're not trying to get pregnant, what are you going to do? You're not going to have sex but you can use condoms, the pill, the patch, the sponge.

Zoe: The fucking sponge!

Jess: The sponge makes me laugh! I can’t handle the sponge.

Zoe: The sponge and the diaphragm.

Jess: No it’s the sponge and the female condom.

Jess: I like watching reaction videos of people looking at a female condom for the first time.

Zoe: Ahh this is what you do in your free time.

Jess:Listen buddy we all have our wear and fancy things that we do in our free time.

Jess: Also just like the sexism like a female condom, you know?

Zoe: Yeah!

Jess: And it’s so expensive!

Zoe: Yeah, and where to find it? I think I find few and grabbed it.In local universities,student help and wellness.And I just have it..umh I don’t know.

Jess: For reason

Zoe: Reason exactly!

Zoe: I alway get them just because I don’t think I will need them personally just because as much as I promote condoms, I am definitely pretty lame about using them,but also I have really good birth control and that is my personal choice.

jess: Yeah that totally okay

Zoe:And I am also educated on my body.

Jess: I will be disgusted with sexe education policy and stuff they have in the state like what they doing don’t teach.So I will let Zoe read some data.

Zoe:Yeah, so we have a lot of facts because we are educated women and we love it!.So 24 states and DC mandate that sex education or like youth receive sex education in some form. 24 states and DC are not that many places in the world in the US, sorry, not in the world, but also in the world. On a separate note, anyways, and then 37 states require that when sex ed is taught, it must include abstinence. So going back to what we said, 37 of those states out of 50 Pretty much. I mean, they have abstinence. So it's not even just like, you know, making the decision not to have sex. It's like abstinence is the best. And then 26 of those states that are required that abstinence needs to be stressed during sex education level lessons. So 26 states out of 50 states pretty much say abstinence is the best way. It's the safest way.

Jess: yeah

Zoe: It's the only way, which isn't true at all. This one really stuck out to me. So only 13 states require that information taught and sex education is like needs to be medically accurate.


Jess : yes.

zoe:13 states

Jess: Out of how many ?

Zoe : out of 50 fu@!#***state

Zoe: like isn't that crazy?
 
Jess: 13

Zoe :13 of them. So like, that means that, you know, anyone that's outside of those that is outside of those 13 states could possibly just be learning, like learning, you know, completely unfactual is that a word? Non factual information, whatever. Yeah. So, which is so problematic, and that's, I think, why we have so many different likes, not biases, but just biases. But also just like misinformation spreading like wildfire is because like, we may have learned it And, you know, I feel like you always kind of have the trust in the teacher who was teaching this stuff. Because you wouldn't think for it to be not factually correct.

Jess:  Yikes.

Zoe:But you know, maybe it is. And I also encourage all of you, if you're in school, currently in receiving sex education, ask if, you know, ask if it's medically accurate.

Jess: guys for that resource!

Zoe : Yeah, ask for those damn resources, because you deserve that information. Also, you know, Google your state and see if it even requires medically accurate information. And then, you know, reflect on the sex education that you received or didn't receive. If you didn't receive sex education, you know, there's a lot of opinions with that. But, you know, if you did receive sex education, like, was it actually medically accurate? And then also like, what can you remember when you took sex? Or sex ed? Or if you teach sex ed? You know, is it medically accurate? Or how can you make it medically accurate? How can you, you know, do your part in this?
Jess: I also want to talk about before you like, continue with these facts? Is this ethical? F#@!**no. Is this ethical to be teaching students medically incorrect facts about their bodies?

Zoe:I see it like this. So an anatomy teacher is not going to teach you incorrect information, but like incorrect information about things like your nervous system or your skeletal system. Why do we have to teach incorrect information about the reproductive system?

Jess: In sex ed

Zoe: Yeah. I guess that it's that simple?

Jess:I don't know. Yeah, everyone, like we said before, everyone deserves the right to understand their body and have a quality education about their body. And it just, it blows my mind. And it baffles me. How, like the federal government lets us happen.

 Zoe:Yeah.

Jess: Because in the end, they let the state's decide what curriculum will be taught where that funding is coming from, which surprisingly, like most of that funding is coming from absence only program because it's the safest.

Zoe:Right,Let's talk about funding in a second. But yeah, it's wild to me. It really is. I just Oh, so you guys can let us know if you think it's ethical or not.We'll love to have these discussions.

Jess: No, I want to have these!

Zoe: Yeah!

Jess: We should be having these discussions.

Zoe: So further 18 states in DC that require oh my gosh,

Jess: Words are hard.

 Zoe:Yes ,18 states in DC require that one sex education is taught information on contraception is needed and provided.

Jess: Wow!

Zoe: You'd say it's only 18 states that provide education on contraceptives. And also, I mean, that always makes me think of like the like the model of like, you know, the girdle the wooden penis being brought out?

Jess :Wouldn't penis. You mean the banana?

Zoe:Yeah, Iguess. I don't know. I feel like there's also somewhere in another world. There's like a large wooden penis that you watch your teacher put on a calendar.

Jess: a large wooden Penis.

 Zoe: Yeah, have you not seen those?

Zoe: I feel like one of my teachers. I mean, she wasn't my health teacher and she was a really good teacher, but I don't know. Maybe it's just a false memory of mine. Maybe I'm just imagining a large wooden penis. Who knows? Anyways, so that's the thing. Um, but like, you know, just putting out a condom probably incorrectly. You have to pinch the top of the condom to put it on. A lot of people forget this.

Jess: surprise people with penises. You need to pinch it.

Zoe:Yeah.Or even if you're like putting on to someone who has a penis, like always pitched up. You can still make it sexy. It's not unsexy like picking up a pincher tip.

Jess: Safe sex is sexy.

Zoe: isn't always will be. Um, so yeah, that's the thing. And only 18 states are wild .

Jess: 18

Jess: Which is worse, the 18 states or the 13 states that require that information be medically accurate.

 Zoe:We want to know. For me personally, it's 13.

Jess: But 13 blows my mind.

Zoe:I know

Jess:  You know what of those 13 states and I don't know this, I'd have to check the website which we'll link down below. Yes. Um, what if those 13 states are within the little like data of the 18 states?

Zoe: Oh, probably. Wait, oh, wait. Oh, wait, just kidding. I understand what you're saying

Jess: You know what I mean?

Zoe:Yeah,

 Jess: That's what scares me. That scares me for future generations. That scares me. For just people's bodies in general.

Zoe: Yeah.

Zoe:Right that it's so problematic. so anyways, that's not all of the information even broke down. We use the goop mascher mocker.

Jess: We don't know what it's called.

Zoe:it's G u t t m a c h e r, but it's like below in the show notes. So please check it out. Also, if you know how to pronounce it, please let us know. Please, um, but you know it. Like when I'm talking about like, all of the information. So if you want to learn more insane facts about what's going on in the world, or specifically within the US, go check out that website. And it breaks it down even further to whether or not consent is taught whether, you know, life skills should be taught and other information that is pretty much already included in comprehensive sex education.

Jess: Yeah, it's really interesting to see if the state you reside in is teaching comprehensive sex education. That's a little like, on a leash.

Zoe:Yeah. Or even Yeah, like, what level of comprehensive sex education are you receiving? You know, my masquerade bits who are like behind comprehensive sex education, and you might get all medically accurate information, but like, to what level? Is it truly inclusive of, you know, all people?

Jess: So how exactly does sex education get its funding? So according to Planned Parenthood's website, we love Planned Parenthood, especially do their action fun website.

Zoe: So good, so many good resources, so much knowledge that's medically factual and backed up by science and you know, all of the things that you didn't get in high school or middle school whenever you're seeing the sex ed.

Jess:  Yeah. So they described that sex education funding is largely up to the state and local government. Yikes. This also includes whether sex education programs get funded at all, meaning that some schools don't get sex ed because they don't have the funding for it. That's fucked up.

Zoe: It's so wild to me. And especially I mean, like schools in lower income districts anyways are so they're struggling. Yeah, all the time with everything. And it's like, so we're gonna cut out like, a basic life thing that yeah, like, yeah, it is a damn human, right. That we're violating but it's fine. It's not fine. That's just me trying to cope.

Jess: Yeah,so even through the brief research of this topic, the sources where the funding came from, was very fuzzy. Just to do like, a quick Google search of like, where sex ed gets its funding from I found more information about abstinence only funding than I did comprehensive sex education. Most of this information that I did find was stuff related to Obama when he was in office for comprehensive sex education,

Zoe: Which I miss him dearly, Obama if you're listening.Thank you So much!. And I miss you and we're going to talk more about you later

Jess: Yes we are hum, so that's fairly recent like Obama was in office like within the past like decade or so. Um, so that means that prevention pregnancy pregnancy prevention funding has been fairly recent for the United States so anyways, abstinence only they get hella money they have spent over.

Zoe:big surprise

Jess: Yeah, seriously big surprise. They spent over 2 billion on their quote unquote sex education programs since 1982.

Zoe:Ohh

Jess: Gates

Zoe:And who was probably in power problems men it's always the white man.

 Jess: It's always and I don't know. I feel like even with a political legislature there needs to be like women there needs to be non binary people there needs to be queer folk. There needs to be people with disabilities, people with colors Yeah, they all need to be included in making this decision.

 Zoe:It should not always be white rich like rich growing up rich their entire lives people who are white who have high class who live in very safe.

Jess: Or being white man with privilege? I don't know anyway it's so difficult I’m a little rant hum, so absence only until marriage has to follow eight point definition. So the two points of the eight point definition of absence only until marriage education stood out the ones that stood out to me the most were teachers abstinence from sexual activity at what size and mer outside marriage as the expected standard for all school aged children. So within this curriculum, I hate saying the same sentence as abstinence. Um, it teaches students that it's either this and nothing else.
Zoe: And that's it your choices are like either abstain unless you're married or get pregnant and die.

Jess:Yeah, I just got it, I don't know it. You shouldn't be educating kids on that, that there are many other ways to prevent unwanted pregnancies. There's so many alternatives, if you do not want to, like carry at all. And that's okay to have that. And I just think that it shouldn't. Abstinence shouldn't be the only expected standard for all school aged children to understand. The other one that stood out to me the most is teaching that abstinence from sexual activity is the only certain way to avoid avoid here's our favorite word out of wedlock, pregnancy STIs and other associated health problems. What do they mean by that? What do they mean by other associated health problems?

Zoe:It just reminds me of like the going back to like, the whole, like psychological damage that like you're gonna get like, I'm sorry, go ahead and be a hoe like we're in full support of it. Also, core phobia in our culture is super real. Yeah, all over the world too I feel like, it's, you're fine. Like, you're fine. If you want to do whatever you want to do, do it because you know yourself the most and the best. Also, like Googling, like, within sex ed, and even outside of sex ed Googling, like, worst case scenario. STIs, like the good you know, like the blue waffles search. Oh, my God, I rolled so hard. I know. And like, that's not an effective way of prevention. That's not an effective way of education. That's not an effective way of communicating any of these things. Because I don't know, it's just not.

Jess: The other way blows my mind that people don't see this as a big giant ass red flag.

Zoe:Right. And that's the thing, like, and again, that's why we're doing this is because we just don't talk about it enough. Because it's such a taboo subject that it's a fine line in silence, because no one cares enough to double check it or no one cares enough to even check it in the first place. Obviously, as 13 states only allow or 13 states mandate that it has to be factually correct. So you know, what, if it's someone sitting in an office somewhere who's like, I think this is what you know, I learned in sex ed, I'm gonna put this into curriculum and curriculum and heavy quotation marks, and, you know, share it with hundreds of kids. Like that's I don't think that's very fair to anyone to literally anyone involved, or if they leave it up to religious organizations.

Jess:Like I'm not badging or badging. I'm not like trying to hurt religion at all but…

Zoe: And we'll be doing an entire podcast on religion and sexuality, too. So we'll get more into this, but sorry to cut you.

Jess: Oh, no, totally fine. Um, but I don't know, just having a religious organization kind of tells you what to do. And if it's a public school, I see a huge problem in that, if it's a private school, I understand. It's a private school.

Zoe:it's a little bit easier to explain. I think also, just like teacher biases, get into that a lot of like, you know, who is the person who's teaching it? Yeah. And how are they more or less tweaking the curriculum to fit, you know, what they feel comfortable teaching or what they even want to hear? So I don't know, I think about that a lot, too. So obviously, there's eight. There's one more that I want to touch on, just because this one also stuck out to me a lot as well. And this one says, teaches that a mutually faithful monogamous relationship. Sorry, I lost my train.

Zoe: So teach us that a mutually faithful monogamous relationship in the context of marriage is the expected standard of human sexual activity. There's so many things with this.

Zoe:So allow me Oh, my God, okay. So, first of all, mutually faithful. You don't have to be the same religion as someone or the same faith or whatever, even if you're skilled, spiritual or non spiritual, or however you practice that, or if you don't practice, I don't care. You can marry someone or be in a relationship, one relationship with someone, whatever that relationship is, with someone who does not practice the same thing that you do, or if they practice, like they don't have to practice. So that blows my mind for one and two. I mean, it just kind of, you know, is that step that shows that this was really kind of created as like a guise of religion? Yeah, I'll get more into that good stuff in a second. Um, but also that it's purely monogamous. Your relationships do not have to be monogamous. You can be polyamorous you can do whatever you want. If that's, you know, your jam, like I don't care. It's not part of me. It's not, you know, part of anyone else. It's up to you. It's not part of this curriculum, or it is part of this curriculum, and that's why we're here. He didn't we're speaking against it. But sorry, no, yeah. But you know, this curriculum should not, at least what I think I don't think it should teach you to be, you know, you have to be monogamous. You have to be in the same faith or even faithful at all. Um, but, you know, again, that's just specifically within the context of marriage, but even then, it's like, we know, it's like, a lot more than just marriage. We know it. And, yeah, also just that, like, that's the expected standard of human sexual activity, like, no, that's not it. Um, yeah. So that I mean, like, let us know to what you think about that one, because that one, I think, is just so loaded. Let's have the talk. Yeah, I'm so I'm gonna have the talk. And especially, I mean, if you had abstinence only sexual education, like sharing experiences with us, I want to hear Yeah. And if you're comfortable sharing them or wanting to have them shared over this podcast, like we'd be, we'd be super super. Oh, my gosh, we were super. Yeah. We will be super interested in having that because, oh, my God, I like we went to the same high school together, too. So we technically received, what I would say would be comprehensive sex education of like, kind of baseline of, yeah. So like, I know, for me, I had, because we're a couple just one grade.

Jess: Yeah, I think we're one year apart.

Zoe: So my grade I remember they were in the process of editing the sex ed curriculum. So you got it in middle school, and I got it in high school. What are our health and physical education like our PE class was every other day? And then every other day? Of that every other day was like, flip flop? Yeah. So it'd be like, it'd be health PE health PE But like every other day? Yeah. Yeah. So it'd be like health, like study hall PE study hall. Yeah. So messy. Anyways, and so like, we got a bare minimum of what it was. Yeah. They just touched the surface. an optional class that I took, called social issues in biology and an amazing class. Y'all know who taught it? Yeah, no, you, we love you. Marcy and if you're watching this, just know. I love you. Yeah, we love you not watching this. Yeah. We love you dearly. I hope that you're having a good life. Um, but yeah, like actually taught it better, because she realized that like, none of us even had a background or even a base of what the hell it was, or like, how our body parts worked. So that's the whole thing. And that was offered only for seniors. Yeah, it was only offered for seniors. And the class was so popular that it would fill up super quickly, too. So like, I don't know, it just goes to show that, you know, people want to learn about this stuff. And people want to talk about those taboo subjects, because that's what the entire class was. I mean, it was amazing. I wish everyone had that class. I wish it was mandatory. All across the board, everyone needs to take a class in that.

Jess:So that was just a lot of information we threw at you and a lot of our opinions we threw at you. Yeah, this stuff can be easily simplified. We got this from the SSA, which is a government organization. And we also got it from Planned Parenthood Action Fund, which will be linked.

Zoe:Yep. So they will both be in the show notes. So you can definitely check those out. If you want to look further into them. If you want to bypass all of our opinions, and form your own opinions, that's totally okay. Feel free to do that, I'm not going to tell you that you have to have the exact same opinion as I do. In fact, I encourage you to make your own decision and form your own opinions, because that's what you know, we need to create change.

Jess: And according to Planned Parenthood, on their Action Fund website, abstinence only advocates have been rebranding their programs to be called sexual risk avoidance or s are programs. So I'm seeing a similar comparison with this and like abortion clinics that are not technically clinics and run by pro life or personnel. I'm just throwing that idea out there.

Zoe: Yeah,Also just the fact that they have to have advocates for this program.like, so. I don't know, to me it just seems like they know it's under attack. They know that. Like, it's probably not the best. Yeah. But you know, they're insecure.

Jess: So they're trying to get funding from other sources by rebranding their quote unquote, curriculum like…

Zoe: sexual rest of risk avoidance sounds really good on paper. I'll give them that.

Jess: Sounds good. It sounds better than apprehensive. Right?

Zoe: Yeah. But you know, you'll look into like the real life of what it is and it has not been at all. Also, just like, I don't know, the abortion clinics that like work under the guise of really Oh, pin and really good, I guess, are usually pretty problematic. Um, I have a little story. Another little tip for y'all. But I actually had a friend who just needed a pregnancy test. It was something in a situation where she's like, Dude, I think I just need the blood thing, because it's not I don't think it's coming up, right, you know, whatever. And she was like, yeah, like, I'll be your girl. Like, I'll come with you. And usually I'm that person. I am like, the person that gets like, those good old 3am texts. And I'm, like, fitted like, Oh, what do I do? I haven't had my period in like, three months. And I'm like, Oh, my God, I should have called me after like the first great. Yeah. So anyways, um, let us know if you're in that situation. And we will help and provide resources anyway. Oh, yes. But so we went to this, we didn't realize that what it was truly, we thought it was a supportive place. They are really, really good about their marketing and how they go about explaining what they do in kind of like a blanket sense. But so when we showed up, they were like, yeah, like, we'll go ahead and get the pregnancy test. It was a completely free pregnancy test. The same one that you get, like a doctor's office, but they don't tell your parents they don't do whatever. I mean, the people there were super supportive. Yeah. And then, you know, then they got into the questions that are like, oh, so like, what are you going to do if you have the baby? In for the person I knew? They were specifically like, I mean, I think I'd get rid of it. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. I'm not sure if I'm, you know, able to like financially, physically, mentally take care of another human being, which is completely okay. Yeah, that's, um, yeah. And so then, you know, the person that we are working with the nurse, I believe,

Jess:Nurse,

Zoe: Yeah.

Jess: Sorry guys.

Zoe:literally, that's what it is, um, you know, it was like, hey, well, if you bring this baby into the world, like, we'll give you everything, like, we have so much, so much stuff, like donated to us. So we can provide diapers and wipes and clothing, and blankets, and cribs, and bassinets and all of, you know, the super expensive things, because it's a lot of money to have a child in this world. And so, you know, abortion was not an option, even though they definitely wanted it to seem like they would provide abortions or provide resources. I made the realization afterwards that there was literally a cross within the logo, there's lessons learned afterwards, putting the two together, um, but just, you know, be mindful. And if you find yourself in that place to like, you know, you have your right to just get up and leave or, you know, know your boundaries and all of that stuff. But, I mean, overall, just don't feel like you're trapped in that situation, because you're not, and they will definitely make you feel trapped, at least, you know, the experience that I have, you know, maybe not all of them will bring in faith very quickly and very, like affirmatively, but you know, just make your own decisions, if you're able to and educated to and even if you're, you know, if you feel comfortable doing that.


Jess: Also find your support system, find somebody to go to. Yeah, I'm sure if you asked like one of your befalls like one of your best friends or like just a friend or just an acquaintance like…

Zoe:Yeah
Jess: I'm sure we'll go with you.


Zoe: Great I was the Biffle, who went, I can attest to this. And it was I mean, at least for us too. I feel like it was a very interesting scenario, as neither of us are very Christian by any means, as this specific organization was very Christian. And we both also support access to abortion and contraception and all of the things that are definitely human rights.

Jess : Yeah,So to wrap up, the SRA programs that on, we were talking about six minutes ago.

Zoe: Yeah

Jess: Yeah, these programs that absence only until marriage advocates have been rebranding their programs for this could easily be this, like security for a new stream of federal funding and support for them. So they've already had over $2 billion, and they are trying to continue to grow and receive more money from the government, especially the federal government. Um, yeah, that's just something to look out for. And just like be aware of what Planned Parenthood is, like advocating for and how they're trying to kind of not Well, yeah, demolish.

Zoe:We're trying to demolish the system, at least I am.

Jess: So comprehend. Have sex education. Where did they get their funding? Most of their funding surprisingly is from local governments, local and state governments. Obama did start something when he was in office. Yay for starts yay for a start. So yeah, he's heard he shorted he's started to smell funding streams to teen pregnancy prevention programs.

Zoe:I am trying to imagine Obama sharing and I just cannot.

Jess: So all started this Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program, one of them calling. One of them being called the Personal Responsibility Education Program, also called prep.

Zoe: Which is also not the prophylactics educator know Pro for post exposure. prophylactics that's what it is,I also I miss I misinterpreted So, but yes, super cool is still also prep, super cool, just the other prep.

Jess: So the information I'm going to be discussed is more geared towards the state we're currently in. So it says Iowa Youth are empowered to make healthy choices and positive decisions regarding sexual behaviors. They as they prepare for a successful adulthood this focus primarily on populations from youth ages 10 to 19, who are residing in areas of the state with the highest teen birth rates. I wonder if this youth resent the youth residing in these areas with the highest teen birth rates has less funding for sex ed, in the areas where these topics aren't being properly discussed? Does this mean this is a problem at state level? Like how does this go? It's kind of wonky?

Zoe: Yes, I'm still trying to like what you just asked.

Jess:  Okay,so I guess I was just kind of asking for like, everyone.

Zoe:Oh, yeah.

Jess:  they're looking for, um, states with the highest teen birth rates, and this program is kind of geared towards them.

Zoe: Okay

Jess:  I kind of entered motion.

Zoe: I understand what you're saying. Yeah, I don't know. It's one of those like, toss is like, you know, should we make this accessible to everyone? Yes ? Are we putting it into the populations that it needs to go into? Yeah but like…

Jess : It should go for everyone.

Zoe: Yeah,


Jess: I don't want to have the same.

Zoe: Yeah, I don't think it should just be restricted, restricted to like, high risk, also making the air quotation mark. So like, you know, high risk, populations a Yeah, I don't know.

Jess:And then he started another funding stream program called the Teen Pregnancy Prevention Program. This is quite similar to the program I previously mentioned, he was just trying to create two separate streams of funding, so we can help these populations out. So these programs were created to provide funding and support for sex education programs that are backed up by science.

  Zoe: so important

 Jess: So this is extra stuff into the comprehensive sex education program. So to kind of wrap up this topic, and it is a little fuzzy and just kind of where funding comes from comes from within the federal government and the state government has always been fuzzy, which I find very problematic because we don't really understand where this money is coming from. Is it just a number, is this money even real? So to wrap up this topic, this means that every state, every school district, every community, and every single student may not be receiving the same information as one another.

Zoe: And we all need to learn the same information, we need to have this information accessible to everyone.

Jess:Where exactly does abstinence only get their funding? So big FAK. Big Fat only has spent over $2 billion on their quote unquote, sex education program since 1982. So this program, used loosely, must follow an eight point definition. And Zoe going to touch base on a few of the ones that stuck out to hurt them out.

Zoe:  Yeah, but first of all, also, just like who's probably in place in power? Who is choosing this stuff? Oh, white men. Yeah in power.

Jess:Yep.

Zoe: And they suck.

Jess: Yep, Newsflash.

Jess:  And it's not conclusive, either. It doesn't talk about queer folk. It doesn't talk about persons of color. People with disabilities. What else am I missing?

Zoe: sex work they doesn't talk about anything. They don't even talk about sex work. And then if it is, it's super demonized, and that's not fair to anyone. So it's a whole thing anyways, so there is an eight point definition. And it sucks.

Jess: It's gross. It's gross. Um, I don't really agree with most of the things, there's a few of them where I'm like, I understand where they're coming from saying, like, I don't know, like teaching young people how to, like reject sexual advances. I think that's important. But that's it. Also, there's more to that.

Zoe: Like, it's not just like how to reject sexual advances. It's like how to not even like to put it in there and bands.like, don't be creepy.

Jess: Yeah. Anyways, but there's some ones that stuck out to us.

Zoe: Mm hmm,so two that stuck out to me were that one of them that says teachers that sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects.

Jess: I'm assuming they're talking about STIs, which most of them can be treated. Yeah, that being said, the point of their definition for absence only until marriage is shaming those who do have STIs like herpes, and like..

Zoe: Yeah, you're not nerdy, if you have an STI, it's totally okay. And like, some of it is preventable and like, also just like knowing how, like what the different STIs are and how they work. Um, definitely…

Jess: How they can be treated,just normalizing them,

 Zoe:Right

Jess: It's okay to have an STI

Zoe: Yes.

Jess:You might feel embarrassed and stuff like that society's making you feel embarrassed.

Zoe :Right,exactly. One time I got diagnosed with chlamydia, and I found it on Christmas. And now there's just a long running joke in my family that I got chlamydia. Just so you know, I'm Zoe who got chlamydia at Christmas.

Jess: I want that on a t- shirt.

Zoe: Yeah, but honestly, I definitely  got it .To Christmas chlamydia. If you are In the car, take a drink of your water. Have your coffee. What are you drinking? Hydrate car? Yeah. Um, but literally, I had to take one singular pill. Maybe there were two. I didn't know there were big pills. But like, that was it. That's all that I did. That was the entire treatment. And I'm fine. And like, Chlamydia also doesn't appear with any symptoms. So it was like, I didn't think anything of it until I went in for my normal birth control appointment. And they were like, Hey, by the way, and I was like, okay, that's fine. And so you know, it's just as easy as that. So, it might be embarrassing, but I definitely ran downstairs. And I was like, Hey, Mom, guess what? But that's also just me.

Jess: Everyone's different with the comfort level of their bodies.

Zoe: Yeah, exactly. And I think if we normalized it more than maybe there'd be more people. But also, STI is live in silence. And we need to stop that because that's how they don't. I mean, that's how we're all uneducated about it. That's how education thrives. So, yes, STIs do not make you dirty, and you are totally fine. And that is my rant. Okay, but the next one that also stuck out to me, too, is that it teaches that variant children out of wedlock.

Jess: I hate that word!

Zoe: away, actually, before we get into that one, that one's a loaded one, though. But the wording, the choice of wording is like or no sexual activity outside of the context of marriage. It also means that you probably need to get married. You don't have to get married. That's the whole thing. Anyways, okay. But fast forward to the next one teaches that bearing children out of wedlock is likely to have harmful consequences for the child, the child's parents and society. Don't really like that one. As someone who was technically born out of wedlock, I can tell you first handedly that first handedly, firsthand did that I had a very normal childhood. I had the privilege of never being married, and never getting divorced. So it was actually a very healthy life that I lived. My parents never really got into arguments because they were never married. And there was never anything that they could really discuss. That also being said, I feel like there's also a stigma with like, you know, young parents and out of wedlock babies. I also hate that word. Just like, yeah, it's all data. Better word that I can use. Is there one? I can't think of any. But if you know about her, let us know. Yeah. I'm totally open to it. But she, my mother, was 27 when she had me like she was not young at all, but also like, you don't have to be young and neither of my parents have gotten married. So like you don't have to be married to have kids. You don't have to be in a committed relationship to have kids. My parents definitely were not; they have never dated in their entire lives. They have no desire to date. They just really liked hooking up and that is totally okay. Yeah, hooking up is totally fine. Yeah. And they sold a custody battle over me because they were, you know, invested in my life. There's a whole thing with that, but you know, surely, because also we like, always favored the mothers. But, you know, in my position, it was definitely better, but that's a whole thing. Um, but yeah, like, it's not super harmful. Like, it may stop being a single parent, but it always does. And it's always more stressful. But realistically, no, like, I'm okay. And my mom is okay. And my dad is okay. And like, we're living a great life, arguably better than some of my friends who have divorced parents, because I never had to experience the violence that happened within that, like the arguing and all of all of the good stuff that comes with divorce. I shouldn't say good stuff. That was sarcasm. Yeah. And yeah, so that's a whole thing.

Jess: So the sources from that information come from the sexuality information and Education Council of the United States.

Zoe: also linked in the show notes.

Jess: Yeah,super interesting to look at. They talk about a variety of different topics. So definitely worth the little ponder or the little thumbs scroll on your phone. So let's talk about the future of sex education. What is happening now for the future of sexual education? So where do you think sex education is gonna go from?

Zoe: I mean, I always hope it's gonna get better. But then also, the pessimist in me is like, Hmm, I don't know. Um, but yeah, I mean, I just, I hope that it gets more inclusive. And I hope that, you know, since I think we're starting to get better as a society to talk about all of these really taboo topics, I hope that, you know, it just becomes more of a like nonchalant thing, or, again, just like, paying attention to what's going on and how we're learning and what we're learning and where it comes from. And so it's not just like, Yeah, cool. I learned this, but it's also like, yeah, I learned this and I'm using it. Yeah. And I'm using it. And also, I know where it comes from.

Zoe:Well, how about yourself?
Jess:  I hope it's more LGBTQ friendly, so much as a little queer myself, not a little gram, pretty big queer.

Jess:Your girl is thick. Um, I hope that it's more inclusive. And it talks about sexualities and just kind of like, trying to put a label to how I'm feeling or what I'm attracted to, and just really discussing that, because there's a lot of closeted queers who are just questioning queers. And they're like, I don't know what to do. And most of their research is online. And though the internet is amazing, it's also dangerous. And sometimes you need to hear it from a teacher or just discussed about and like a pamphlet, or just something, there needs to be something for the queer community out there. I also feel that queer sex education needs to become more of a thing like how to like, properly have sex, is that appropriate in school? I feel like they are like mature students and stuff. Such as juniors and seniors in high school. I do. I mean, I guess it depends. Yeah. And it totally depends on things like population or my level and stuff like that. So I hope that will soon be a thing. I hope to be a part of that movement as like a future queer sex educator, I want to be there for it, I want to be active in it. And I just want to help kids out. Because I know what it feels like, I know what it feels like to be stuck in the closet, I understand what it feels like to have your parents feel equally as confused as you are. And I feel like those young students need to understand that they're not alone, and they can become so much more from where they are now. sorry to get like…

Zoe:no, get it.

Jess: It's just a moving topic. Like it was really hard for me and I wish I had someone there to help me.

Zoe: Yeah. Also, just like the whole, you know, not everyone is straight. And like, we don't need to just assume everyone's straight.

Jess:It doesn't need to be heterosexual, like sex education needs to be LGBTQ.

Zoe:Right? Like, using dental dams and how like, you know, you're not going to always have like, pee envy sex, which is just you know, penis and vagina sex. Like there's so many other sexual things that you could either do with a different body or whatever it was the same body that you have, like, it doesn't have to be we got a trade off.


Jess:And I feel like that's how sex is portrayed. Like, not everyone gets off on that, and that's gonna be another thing we're hopefully going to be discussing.With this like podcast series .

Zoe: It will be discussed!

Jess: We just like how to get off and like Find things that feel comfortable for your body and Yeah, feel good.

Zoe: And also just like the fact that penetrative sex doesn't have to be with a penis, like, oh my god, we have fingers. We have tongues. We have strap ons, we have everything. We have toys, we have kitchen objects, household objects, it's okay. Figure whatever works for you and know it and learn it. And that's why we're here. And because we want to make it inclusive and not forget entire populations.

Jess:Big population

Jess: for that matter there are many organizations within the United States that are advocating for better sex education such as

Zoe: Necessary Behavior

Jess:Necessary behavior is a big one. Advocating for us youth is a big one. They currently have a free curriculum online called the three R's, which stands for rights, respect and responsibility. These are free.

Zoe: They’re free!

Jess: We cannot stress that enough. And these lessons go from kindergarten to 12th grade. So examples of these topics include different kinds of families, understanding our bodies, lessons about friendship, gender roles, harassment, bullying, puberty, reproduction, communication, boundaries, abuse, gender, sexual orientation, gender, and sexual orientation, as well as reproductive rights. So this curriculum is awesome, because it sets students up for success. And it's free. And the information continues to build up on top of each other, such as referring back to previous lessons and topics making them connect and intersecting ideas. Therefore, this curriculum is trying to build you up and just become a well rounded person, which I think is awesome. And it's free. I can't stress that enough. I just found out about it, like, a month or so ago. And it's, I love it, it tells you everything you need to do, it gives you resources and things you need to do. They pilot these curriculums with students. They're Florida and I believe this., California, Louisiana, and Florida have piloted this and they've shared their curriculum that they modified within the three Rs and post downline. It's just really interesting to look at. So definitely give that a look if this is something you're interested in.

Zoe: Yeah. And even, you know, if you're like, oh, you know, I want to look more at this topic. Like look into it. Also, I don't think that there's also just a stigma of like, how young we can start sexual education. Ah, it is so important to start as young as possible. I don't think that there's a certain age that is necessary to start it at. But I mean, I think that pretty much as long or I mean, the second that you learn to talk into Locke, I feel like you should be taught some form of sex ed. Obviously, you're not going to talk about gender and sexual orientation like a two year old.

Jess:No, you're probably going to talk about like, families and like, yeah, race, and just simple topics like that.

Zoe:  Yeah. Very, like, enhanced. Like you don't hug grandma. Also, grandma might be smelly. So like, don't hug grandma, if you don't want to hug grandma. Yeah, learning to say no, at a young age is so yeah. And also having those conversations with other family members. So you know, if you're someone who has kids or around kids, or you know, know, someone who interacts with kids, you know, having those conversations of like, hey, if a kid tells you, you know, like, you don't have to force it, because that's weird. Um, and yeah, I just think it's really important to how they build off of everything. And it is inclusive and goes into so much around, you know, so many different topics.

Jess: There's also another awesome free resource online called amaze. And this is more so operated towards the visual learners, I would say, they're all Video Base. It's very simplified at first, and it goes into very complex ideas, but it's hard to describe it's formatted in a way that you will understand it, and there's resources for the young person, there's resources for the teacher, and there's resources for parents. So it's multi dimensional, in that way that can be used in a variety of ways

Zoe:of different ways. Yeah. And so, you know, whatever your role in this specific place is, you know, if you're just someone who wants to forward it over to, you know, a school that's near you, or, you know, if you have connections to teachers who my either teach or know, someone who teaches sex education, you know, definitely pored over those resources. Because sometimes it's just a matter of like, lack of education, or, you know, here's what I want to do, but I don't really know where to go. And I think it's really important to, you know, continue these conversations, but then there's also our state specific one, and also the place that you're getting your certification through, which we love.


Jess:Yeah, It's called Eyes Open io. A and it's a really awesome organization that is in Des Moines, West Des Moines, somewhere around there. They help you get your certification and sex education. They also provide really awesome resources for kids, students, teachers, parents, they even give advice for older individuals on things like sex and just like their bodies and how they're changing and stuff. It's just a really awesome organization. They have really awesome articles on there and a bunch of free like PDFs online that you can download. They're just fun to like, ponder, and definitely recommend checking them out. And if you're thinking about getting certified as a sex educator, you can reach out to me, you can reach out to them, they'll probably know more than I do. Because it's their baby, not mine. I'm just paying for it

Zoe:  It is your baby.

Jess:It’s my baby

Zoe:It’s our adopted baby.

Jess:It’s my adopted baby. Yes, that I am trying to love and nurture and just have that baby grow up.

Zoe:And we're gonna have that baby grow up, that baby is gonna grow empowered and inclusive. I hope so in probably queer.

Jess:  Probably queer, No pressure.So we do have any questions.

Zoe: Not necessarily. But I mean, all of the things that we talked about are definitely in the show notes. So but then also, we have the resources that we talked about. And then we also have some general resources and some just, you know, good websites to know of. And just things that we really like, and so feel free to go check them out. If you have any questions, feel free to ask us because we're all here. Also, something that we talked about isn't clear or yeah, that you want to learn more about? Let us know because we are so open to what you guys think and what you guys, you know, perceive and what we can do better at or if you're if you want to call us out do it I am super into becoming a better person.  And like,  you know, feel comfortable. I'm not gonna get mad at you, if you call me out. So, um, or if there's something that you're like, hey, like, I think you could do better on this, like, I'm all yours, trust me. Um, but yeah.

Jess:I guess all I want to say is like, where do you guys think this is go? This is going to go? Where do you think the future of sex education is gonna go? It's gonna go up, down around the corner, around where's it gonna go? How do you see it? How was your sex education? Did you have sex education? Did you have a mentor? Like it was: Did your family talk about sex? Great. Let us know. Let's have this discussion.

Zoe: Yeah. I mean, we're all here all the time. And so you know, share our stories, or if you just want to process with us, like, yeah, please process with us. Or if you're like, oh, my gosh, I didn't realize that I had a terrible education until I listened to this, which is also real. Like, that's okay. We're here. We're always here for you. Except for things like, you know, when I'm sleeping or like doing self care, yeah, whatever.

Jess: But that's important. That about wraps everything up, I would say.

Zoe: Our first episode of our baby, our little child. So we are so excited that you guys were here and you listened to the first episode. And obviously, you've made it this far. Don't forget to like and subscribe to me. No, but actually do subscribe. Do write us a review on whatever you listen to this podcast on. Share it with all your friends. Tell your family, tell everyone that you know, share it with your followers. Just share it around because we think it's really important information. And we hope that you do too.

Jess: I don't know goodbyes are really hard. But I guess we'll like to take you guys next time. Yeah. My heart's like breaking. Really, we had this really intimate moment with each other.

Zoe: Yes, and we're gonna have a lot more. I hope you guys are ready for that. And again, I am Zoe. I'm the CEO and founder of necessary behavior.

Jess: And I'm Jess and I'm just the b@#!** from the promo!

Zoe: We love her. You can find necessary behavior on Instagram, Facebook ,except for twitter then it's necessary behavior II because this is just necessary behavior without the or because Twitter has, like, text limits, right? Like, you know, letter limits, what the hell is that called?

 Jess: character limit character limit.

Zoe:  There we go. Um, yeah. So follow us and like us and do all the good things and be a good person in the world and we love you and we're so excited to have you on this. Educational but super fun and kind of Wine Food fuel the journey. Yeah, I need to take another drink after mispronouncing fuel. I will see you next time.

Zoe: BYEEEE!

Jess: BYEEEE!