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The 5 Love Languages

by Maya Cherins

In 1995 Dr. Gary Chapman wrote The Five Love Languages, a book analyzing, understanding, and evaluating the way human beings feel loved and appreciated. Every individual’s love language can differ, no matter who you’re sexually or emotionally attracted to. You and your partner could have completely different love languages, and that’s okay!

The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. 

Words of Affirmation 

This love language emphasizes the importance of verbal compliments and praise. It doesn’t need to be a large gesture, merely a “You look beautiful!” will suffice. Compliments and saying “I love you” can go a long way in a relationship with someone whose love language is “Words of Affirmation.” However, this also reigns true for criticisms and verbal insults. Someone with this love language may be more hurt and need more time for forgiveness. However, telling your partner you love them and other intimate words can go a long way. 

Acts of Service 

Someone with the love language of “Acts of Service” stands by the motto “actions speak louder than words.” This love language is when one partner values the other partner goes out of their way to help with small tasks and errands. Someone whose love language is Acts of Service would appreciate a cooked meal or doing laundry; the little things go a long way. Anything that you can do to make your partner’s life easier will help show how much they mean to you. The most powerful actions are done without question and without being asked first and spontaneity is valued.

Receiving Gifts

This love language means you value meaningful or thoughtful gifts. Someone with this love language would appreciate little presents, trinkets, or surprises that require thought and consideration on your significant other’s part. Getting your partner something small and sentimental shows you have been thinking of them beyond the physical item. If your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, remember it’s not about the materialistic things, it’s about the sentiment of the gift itself. 


Quality Time

This love language means you appreciate undivided attention and time with your partner. Your partner will want to hang out with you and you only with no distractions. Dates and time together are extremely valued by someone with this love language; canceling or postponing a date can be extremely hurtful. If your partner’s love language is quality time, remember to be deliberate with your time, be mentally present, and be affectionate! Show your partner you are there for them and them only. 

Physical Touch

Someone with the physical touch love language means that nothing is more important or powerful than affection. This love language does not mean the person needs PDA (public display of affection)They just feel more connected, loved, and appreciated by a hug, a kiss, hand-holding, sex, etc. Someone with this love language needs to feel close not just emotionally, but physically. Intimacy is key. 

Knowing and understanding you and your partner’s love language can further your emotional and physical connection. Take this quiz to find out your love language!


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